Speaking of Oil Whores ... The Tea Room Peeks Into The Pit

AP Finance: A trader shouts for attention in the energy options pit, 29 October 2007, at the New York Mercantile Exchange. Oil prices hit a record 94.00 dollars Wednesday after news that US oil inventories fell sharply last week, analysts said.(AFP/File/Stan Honda)

Hey I.M. .... recognize this guy??

Up Your Slut Factor WINNERS of the Day

Halle Berry at the "Things We Lost In The Fire" premier in London

Hooray for Halle's Golden Globes! Yes, pregnant Media Whores.... the ONLY thing you have working for you during your nine months of expansion are your ta-tas. Take a page from Halle and Up Your Slut Factor until you're so huge you can't leave the house.
Heather Graham at the Heroes Environmental Awards in London

If ever an award could be given out to a Media Whore who translated on-screen costumes to real life dressing, Heather would win it. Does this not have "Boogie Nights" written all over it? The Tea Room loves!
Jessica Simpson at the Frederick's of Hollywood Spring Fashion Show

If you're happy and you know it shorten your skirt... If you're happy and you know it shorten your skirt.... If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it shorten your skirt.

Up Your Slut Factor LOSERS of the Day

Renee Zellweger in NY

If you're nutty and you know it dress like this. Why does she look like she's got Turret's? This is a woman you want to put in a padded room in a straight jacket so we don't have to watch her twist her body in an attempt to be sexy. THIS IS NOT HOT.
Brooke Shields & Mandy Moore at a party for Huny Slonem's new book 'Pleasure Palaces'

The Tea Room is in a musical mood. The song for this photo would be: Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, babies, you give brunettes a bad name! You look more boring than 10 days of rain, you give brunettes a bad name!
Mira Sorvino at the Roberto Cavelli @ H&M launch party in Italy

No song, just three words Mira needs to hear: TAPE YOUR TITS

Gweneth takes Apple and Moses to the park in Spain

Back to music: It's raining, it's pouring, mommy feels so boring...went to bed with a hole in my head and put a hideous towel over it in the morning..

Was Ist Das?

Or, as we say in the new country, what is this?? The Tea Room thinks that Paris is in some way trying to repent for her "sins," as if driving under the influence and having sex on tape warrants dressing like a Mexican housewife.

Come back Media Whore! When you make it back to Slutsville we will happily crown you Media Whore of the Week.

Media Whore of the Week

The Tea Room Loves Kim Kardashian. Here she is celebrating her 27th Birthday in L.A.

Who better to illustrate Whore style? From her long, flowing hair (though a bit on the dark side, we love the nod to Cher & Elvira) to her large, busting-out-of-her-tacky-dress breasts, we give her an A++ for whoring her appearance to boost her stardom. Kim is a perfect example of the most important Media Whore principle: Up Your Slut Factor.

Remember You Are Always On Film

And Now A Word From Our Down On Her Luck Media Whore Whitney Houston

Do The (Red) Thing

One Press Pimp we know is now obsessed with a new GAP advertisement featuring little Oscar Nominee darling Abigail Breslin with her Curious George doll, both in Product Red T-Shirts. Of course the same PP thought the GAP now has Curious George dolls but alas he found they do not.

More Cancer Awareness Products

Breast Cancer "Hope" Tennis Balls by Wilson $5.50 at pinkribbonshop.com


Fashion Awareness Sugar Cookies. 19 sugar cookies in a gift box. 50% of the sale is donated to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. $75 at elenis.com

More Breast Cancer Awareness.

This Limited Edition Viva La Cure tee, designed by Juicy Couture. All proceeds benefit the Entertainment Industry Foundation Women's Cancer Research Fund. $35 at saks.com


Mini Pink Pony Handbag $45 at ralphlauren.com


KitchenAid will donate $7 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation as part of its Cook for the Cure initiative. $49.99 at target.com

Dancing in Fountains

From Harper's Bazaar:

"I don't think anybody thought Friends would become what it did. It's all good though. It's nothing but blessings. But seriously, who actually dances in a fountain?" JENNIFER ANISTON

Media Whores do.

Here she is showing off her ass on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

Lipstick = Mega Whoredom

Mega model Media Whore Heidi Klum has launched her first line of make-up for Victoria's Secret.

Called the Heidi Klum Collection for Very Sexy Makeup, Heidi said she created the limited-edition collection so women can achieve her runway and red carpet looks, specifically in time for the Holiday season.

The Tea Room calls this Sex-For-Fantasy Marketing. If you use Heidi's makeup, you too can sashay down the runway in a bra with wings and marry a pop star!

Heidi worked with Media Whore favorite and Victoria's Secret make-up artist Linda Hay on the line.

Levi Strauss Opening 800 Stores In India by 2011

Is this a great ad or what!

Levi's leaders understand a primo Media Whore Principle; to keep its 100-year-old brand fresh, you have to flash some flesh!

News from India:

"Presently, we have around 160 stores and we will double the number every year for the next three to four years," Levi Strauss (India) marketing director Shyam Sukhramani told PTI at Lakme Fashion Week where it launched four collections, Collectibles, Blue, Vintage, and Red.

Levis currently has around 14 flagship stores in India and plans to add another 10 by next year, including one in Mumbai, opening in December.

Maybe its Christy.

If the Tea Room hears anything to do with Christy Turlington, our interest is piqued!

Maybelline has signed German model Julia Stegner joining Christy Turlington, Erin Wasson, Adriana Lima, and Zhang Ziyi to their spokesmodel list. She will make her debut in February 2008. Maybe she was born with it?

Vintage Whore Frocks For Sale

Nadia Swarovski with the Olsen twins. Photo by View Images.

WGSN.com

NADIA SWAROVSKI on trying to buy back archive pieces:

"I did try and buy that Marilyn Monroe Swarovski dress that she sang 'Happy Birthday Mr President' in, but when we went to Christie's it sold for £2m... a liiii-ttle out of my price range."

Another Rape Suit for Anand Jon

Anand Jon and Paula Abdul. Photo by Wireimage.

Ex-Whorehouse client Anand Jon Alexander was hit by another lawsuit by a woman who claims he sexually assaulted her three years ago at his Beverly Hills apartment.

Fashion model Natalie Pack, 29, said she decided to come forward to encourage others to do the same.

About 20 girls and women, aged 15 to 27, claim to have been assaulted by Anand between November 2002 and March 2007.

The 33-year-old designer was indicted this month on 59 counts, including rape, sexual battery and committing a lewd act on a child. He has pleaded not guilty and is scheduled to be arraigned October 25.

Red Carpet at Swarovski Fashion Rocks

SWAROVSKI FASHION ROCKS

London's Swarovski Fashion Rocks charity had Media Whore Kate Moss wore a 1920s beaded dress with 20,000 Swarovski crystals, a copy of what she wore on her first date with Johnny Depp in 1994 and to be auctioned on eBay tp benefit The Prince's Trust.


Sparkle and see through for our favorite MeHos! Uma Thurman wore an almost see-through black lace dress by Valentino, Claudia Schiffer in a sheer black blouse, Naomi Campbell in a sheer Dolce & Gabbana and Lily Allen in a sheer blue Chanel.

Karne sparkle is obviously in on the trend as Alicia Keys and Lady Helen Taylor both wore beaded Armani, and Whitney Houston put down her crack pipe for a white beaded Valentino.

Control Your Excitement

Photo by Craig Blankethorn

Why does every on-set shot of the cast of "Sex in the City: The Movie" look like they are being led to a prison camp?

The Tea Room will refrain from making another crack about using Rachel Atwell for Shabby Chic fabric to construct Sarah Jessica's wardrobe for "Sex In the City: The Movie." But c'mon, what's going on here? Where are the Slutty ensembles we loved so much on HBO?

Kudos on the shoes, though. They look very much like the Henry Beguelin hot numbers that we scored (cha-ching!) in August for Spring Fashion Week...

Overheard in L.A.

David Duchovny talking to Unknown Media Whore at the afterparty for "Things We Lost in the Fire" in L.A.

DAVID: "Paula, it's been so long!"

UKNOWN M.W.: "Why are you calling me Paula?"

DAVID: "Because that's your name. Though I have to tell ya honey, you're looking a little round in the middle."

UNKNOWN M.W.: "I'm pregnant, you idiot."

DAVID: "Oh, wow! Who's the lucky American Idol contestant who can now put 'daddy' on his resume?"

UKNOWN M.W.: "I don't know who he is, but unlike you, I would guarantee that he knows I'm Halle Berry."

DAVID: "You're cute. I was just fucking with you."

Through The Looking Glass

Madonna & son David outside the Kaballah Center in NY.

Ah, if the founding fathers could only see where their vision would take us: A Famous-Catholic-Turned-Pseudo-Jew holding her African baby outside the headquarters of a benign religious cult.

And Lynne Cheney announced today that husband Dick and Barack Obama are cousins! No joke. Look it up if you don't believe us.

The Tea Room is feeling the love...

SLEEP WITH JETER, PARK FOR FREE

Who says the season's over for this Yankee? The Tea Room is thrilled that he's been showing off his Media Whore talents in Miami this week!

check it out on Page Six:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/10162007/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm

Keep it Simple. Keep it Clean. Keep it Green.

Attention Green Whores: Eco Citizen strives to offer high quality, fair trade, classic fashion design and construction to the eco-conscious consumer. Their mission is to support the planet and its people while encouraging and implementing fair trade practices, sweatshop-free merchandise, and organic fashion products. Eco Citizen promotes a lifestyle choice that goes beyond the traditional allure of fashion, by transcending the self through transparent business practices, while providing fashion-forward and classic clothing for the 21st century woman.

Hours: 11am-7p. Tuesday through Sunday
Closed Mondays

Photography: Collette McGruder
Art Direction/ Styling: Michael Carbaugh

Breast Cancer Awareness Month - Cancer Vixen: A True Story

Published by Alfred A. Knopf in September 2006, one of the Tea Room's favorite illustrators, Marisa Acocella Marchetto, has written and illustrated a must-buy book on her experiences with finding a lump in her breast days before her wedding.

The Whorehouse met Marisa when producing Cynthia Rowley's shows.

From Marisa's website www.marisaacocellamarchetto.com - “What happens when a shoe-crazy, lipstick-obsessed, wine-swilling, pasta-slurping, fashion-fanatic, single-forever, about-to-get-married big-city girl cartoonist with a fabulous life finds . . . a lump in her breast?”

The author is donating a percentage of the proceeds from the this book to provide breast care for underprivileged women at the Comprehensive Cancer Center affiliated with St. Vincent’s Hospital Manhattan and to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

In 1994, Marisa published "Just Who The Hell Is She, Anyway?"

Patrick McMullan's Glamour Girls

"Glamour Girls" by one of the Tea Room's favorite photographers - Patrick McMullan

Arriving Fall 2007, GLAMOUR GIRLS by Patrick McMullan boasts one of the largest collections of photographs ever published of the world's most celebrated women. GLAMOUR GIRLS features over 1400 images and spans Patrick's career. The book chronicles everything from the sophisticated galas of society, to the flirty Hollywood parties, to the famed New York nightlife and everything in between.

$75 visit www.patrickmcmullan.com to order!

Spice Girls to Perform at Victoria's Secret Show

The Tea Room fondly remembers when Victoria's Secret was known for its every-other-week-T&A-catalogs with has been models and commends them for their Whorish ways/Upping Their Slut Factor with superbreasts abounding!

Tea Room readers who missed out on tickets to the Spice Girls' reunion tour will be comforted to know that they can see group perform at the Victoria's Secret fashion show next month.

The Victoria's Secret fashion show on November 15 will mark the American TV debut of the Spice Girls' comeback tour.

Taking place at Hollywood's Kodak Theatre, the show will air on CBS.

Last year's performance for Victoria's Secret was given by Justin Timberlake.

Swarovski Fashion Rocks Line-up Announced

The Tea Room has learned that the final line-up has been announced for Swarovski Fashion Rocks for The Prince's Trust, which sees several once-in-a-lifetime pairings between international designers and top music artists.

Hosted by Samuel L. Jackson and Uma Thurman at the Royal Albert Hall this Thursday.

Confirmed pairings include: Alicia Keys for Armani; Razorlight for Burberry; Joss Stone for Calvin Klein Collection; Lily Allen for Chanel; The Gossip for Christopher Kane; Timbaland for Dolce & Gabbana; Roisin Murphy for Gucci; Dame Shirley Bassey for Marchesa; Shy Child for Stella McCartney; the Pussycat Dolls' Nicole Scherzinger for Valentino; Iggy Pop for Versace; and Marc Almond for Yves Saint Laurent.

The event's executive producer Nick Scott calls the evening London's hot ticket for the year. "What a fantastic line-up and hosted by two of Hollywood's finest actors Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson renowned for their impeccable sense of style both on and off-screen."

Multi-award winning and triple platinum-selling Sugababes will also be pairing with a special guest in a surprise performance for Swarovski.

The Whorehouse produced the first New York Swarovski Fashion Rocks in September 2005. Sadly Iggy Pop was not available.

Seven Nights of Rock, Now Baby, Seven Nights of Roll: S.P.C.A. Event Shakes Up the Home Field

You had to see it to believe: Michael Israel waving to guests after literally throwing paint at a canvas and voila... look what appeared in 6 minutes & was auctioned off for $35,000. There are some happy dogs in Jersey this morning!
step aside tall chick...

photos: D.W.

Guess who showed up to the Monmouth County S.P.C.A. party at Max Weinberg's (drummer for the E Street Band, Conan O'Brien) last night?

Though there was inside info. that B.S. would appear at the end of the nite, the pathetically jaded Tea Room thought FOR SURE that he would be spending the weekend in lockdown to rest up for a week of performances at MSG (which we will take in on Thursday night).

The Tea Room was thrilled to be wrong!

After a night of martini & tequila bars & yes, an ICE LUGE inscribed with the "Kick Up Your Paws" theme (Fat E would have been proud), the small crowd got bids rolling on incredible performace art by Michael Israel.

The night could have ended there, and everyone would have been happy.

But then HE came out. B.S. shook his ass with all the finesse and love of a true "attention whore," as he described himself on 60 Minutes last week ... and a very happy Press Pimp stood just feet away, camera in hand, to bring you the photos above; his version of 'Seven Nights of Rock' still echoing in her head...

Fresh Scent

Elizabeth Hurley at a Breast Cancer Awareness Event in London

The top 1/2 of Tin Lizzy is A+ Up Your Slut Factor...
But roll down to the bottom 1/2 & it's like we're shooting a commercial for Glade Air Freshener. Media Whores remember: Just because your breasts are gifted does not mean they can carry the whole class. Everyone has to pull their own weight. Ass & crotch are just as important as hair & breasts!

Media Whore TUTORIAL: A Bad Day of Photos

Madam Stone at a press conference in Monaco.

Huh??

Why the ascot??

Have you been neglecting your botox neck treatments?

The men's suit was hot 20 years ago but now it makes you look 20 years older than you are, and honey, you're no spring chicken.

TAKE IT OFF!

Food Network's Giada De Laurentis in Mexico shooting "Giada's Weekend Getaways."

The Tea Room thinks Giada is adorable, but for Christ's sake, loose the gradma underwear!

We know the Median Viewer Age at the Food Network is 55 but covering up cute ass is Media Whore Sin Numero Uno.

You're Invited!

Whorehouse's favorite downtown diva Susanne Bartsch is hosting her annual Halloween Bash.

HALLOWEEN WITCHES BORDELLO
Wed., Oct. 31
co hosted by KENNY KENNY

MUSIC: Johnny Dynell, Alexander Technique & SURPRISE DJ

Performance by Dangerous Muse

door: andrea and adam
10 pm $ 20 with invite
AVALON 20 ST & 6 AVE

SPONSORED BY XX DOS EQUIS

Food Bank for New York City Needs Your Help

The Tea Room calls all super-citizen Media Whores for Food Bank for New York City.

Food Bank NYC provides New Yorkers with hundreds of thousands of free meals every day, coordinating and distributing food to more than 1,000 nonprofits throughout the five boroughs.

The facility normally stocks seven to eight million pounds of food, but cuts in federal funding has left the Bronx warehouse with just three million.

Food donations (from individuals or corporations), volunteers, community partners, and cash are all needed.

DailyCandy.com is organizing a virtual food drive or go to foodbanknyc.org

Crash Into Me

photo: Hollywoodrag.com news: WGSN.com

The Tea Room loves how uber-ug Media Whore VICTORIA BECKHAM managed to crash the PRINCESS DIANA inquest, while modelling in a fashion shoot in Paris. That's original!

Posh is currently working on a magazine assignment for US Elle and has been spotted around the city, sporting a succession of rather fabulous Up Your Slut Factor ensembles. But according to The Sun, Vic managed to accidently walk through a makeshift courtroom set up outside the Ritz Hotel, where Diana and DODI AL FAYED stayed ten years ago. Stunned jurors could only look on, open-mouthed, as she breezed through the crowd.

"It was amazing. She was the last person you expected to see," said one witness. To be fair, it's not really her fault, she happens to also be staying at the Ritz, but then her whole life does reek of one big publicity stunt.

Isn't that what we're going for here?

Media Whore Quote of the Day

From People.com: "Fashion is on my side, so I think I can work it out in normal clothes until the eight or ninth month, then I might have to break down and do maternity." HALLE BERRY

Halle Berry has been admired by the Whorehouse since we dressed her in Fernando Sanchez back in the 90s.

Tummy Trouble: J Lo Gives a 'No Comment' On Her Pregnancy

With photos like these, who needs a comment?

Take it from D.W., if you want to keep your pregancy a secret, make like a bear & hibernate for six months. You may not think we notice, but trust us even your Puerto Rican aroz con pollos is expanding.

Picture = 1,000 Words

Cindy C at The Hollywood Style Awards:
"Does standing next to Teri Hatcher make me look as old as her?"

"Also, will people think that we're friends? 'Cause we're not. Maybe if I look away as if she just stepped into the shot after my husband ran to the bathroom..."

Teri:
"I am not afraid to be photographed next to her, I had another round of botox yesterday."

Overheard in Paris:

Bar Rafaeli: "I know my butt looks huge, that's why I tied a sweatshirt around my waist."