British Fashion Awards (Drumroll Please...)

Surprise! Stella McCartney has been named Designer of the Year for 2007 by The British Fashion Council.

The Fashion Creator award, re-named to honor the late Isabella Blow, went to Michael Howells. Dame Vivienne Westwood received the Outstanding Achievement in Fashion Design award.

The New Designer of the Year award went to Scottish (shout-out to our skirted bretheren!) designer Christopher Kane. Marc Jacobs received the Retail Concept award for his London store.

The Red Carpet Designer award went to the Marchesa label and Christopher Bailey for Burberry received the Menswear Designer award.

Model of the Year award went to Agyness Deyn (pictured above). Agyness is definitely not Media Whore material, UNLESS she turns out to be a man, which the Tea Room bets any amount of money 'she' is.

Dysfunctional Family Reunion

Ya gotta love Stella McCartney for not being able to plaster on a smile like her photomates (who, incidentally, look like they are holding her in place lest she bolts from the room in a full-on rage).

And ya gotta love Stella's revenge against her wicked ex-stepmother!

The Tea Room has learned that Stella has designed a one-leg silver necklace for her jewelry collection that debuted in Paris for spring 2008. It's the remaining leg that Stella would like to rip off of Heather's body!

Even with the peg leg sympathy ploys, Heather could be one of the most unpopular Media Whores around. Even the Tea Room wouldn't touch this one with a 10-foot prosthetic.

Back to London Fashion Week

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Oh boy, Stella McCartney for Adidas you really outdid yourself. Your past few collections have hinted to mild depression; the Tea Room is thinking that daddy Paul's breakup with the Limp Triscuit didn't cheer you up the way we'd been thinking it would. This collection is screaming for you to run to Dr. Shmelkin & up that Prozac prescription. The Tea Room associates Adidas with happy gangsters, not babes who avoid sunlight like the plague & wear their Stella Macartney frocks to the beach only during the cover of night. Notice that even the people who appear to be in the front row are turned away in horror...