Back to London Fashion Week

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Oh boy, Stella McCartney for Adidas you really outdid yourself. Your past few collections have hinted to mild depression; the Tea Room is thinking that daddy Paul's breakup with the Limp Triscuit didn't cheer you up the way we'd been thinking it would. This collection is screaming for you to run to Dr. Shmelkin & up that Prozac prescription. The Tea Room associates Adidas with happy gangsters, not babes who avoid sunlight like the plague & wear their Stella Macartney frocks to the beach only during the cover of night. Notice that even the people who appear to be in the front row are turned away in horror...

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This came down the runway at the Biba show in London.

Sing along Media Whores:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a real fucking dress. Designers are nut jobs, I have to confess. I've worked hard all my lifetime, to look like my best. So oh Lord, won't you buy me, a real fucking dress.

U-G-L-Y You Ain't Got No Alibi You're Ugly!

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London, can you hear us? Probably not because we are speechless. Please study this look because it is completely anti-Media Whore. From the tip of her expressionless dead head, down the torso of her ugly shift, down further to the ace bandage on her leg & ending at her bare feet, we are so confused with the message here. Where is the sluttiness? The in-your-face glamour? Are you too cool Osman Yousefzada to make chicks pretty? The Tea Room would rather make like Muslims and dress in long black dresses and burkas than be caught in this ode to an asylum.

Happening at London Fashion Week Right Now...

We thought New York had the lock on psycho suits this season. London designer Danielle Scutt proved us wrong! The tight buns and ticked-off faces are screamingly anti-Media Whorish, yet the heretofore unseen tape work on the models did grab us. The Tea Room is thinking that D.W. can wear the look on the left when she goes trick-or-treating at Bruce Springsteen's house this Halloween. Previous attempts at getting his attention by dressing as the female version of Little Steven have gone virtually unnoticed...finally, a costume he can sink his teeth into.

On To London Fashion Week

Not ... Not ... Not ... Hot! Elle Macpherson knows her stuff. We have to do a little fact-checking but the Tea Room is 99% sure that Elle is 43 years old. Wow! She has the checklist down cold: She looks a little slutty - jazzing up her fugly Burberry Fashion for Relief T-shirt with the sexy black waffle underneath; her hair looks incredible AND she still flashes that million dollar smile. Jodie Kidd, Naomi Campbell and Yasmin Le Bon just look washed up.