We Just Can't Get Enough...

Of Black Lycra.

Here's Lauren Conrad taking her look to the streets of L.A. Why should Sharon Stone and Tyra Banks get all the attention? Lauren makes her own feeble attempt at what the Tea Room now calls the "Kamikaze Ensemble," an outfit that contains Lycra/Spandex/Poly on upper and/or lower half of the body. The term 'kamikaze' implies that the wearer can either blow up her Media Whore image with her stunning presentation, ala Sharon Stone, or crash in a suicidal display of flagrant disregard for one's own phsysical and spiritual safety, ala Tyra Banks and our little friend Lauren here. The Tea Room will list the ways that this Kamikaze Ensemble went wrong:

1. Kamikaze Ensemble needs to reveal something good, like your Camel Toe. This ensemble only reveals Lauren's saddle bags.
2. 3 trends in one look: the blousy shirt, the oversize bag and, of course, the Kamikaze Ensemble. Oh me weary eyes! Pick one.
3. Yes, black is the new black, but only if you are SURE your outfit is hot. Lauren, you look like you're heading to the Mall of America to buy Jessica Simpson's Hair U Wear. Even a gold bag would have made this train-wreck salvagable.
'

Tyra's Media Whore Secret

Not getting enough media coverage, Tyra? If you refuse to Up Your Slut Factor, there is one other way to guarantee that everyone will take your picture: Throw on spandex. Does anyone really believe that one of the world's top supermodels would show up for lunch at Nello's on Madison Avenue dressed like this? The New York Post gleefully printed this "oops" photo this week, "catching" Tyra in her fashion faux pas. A few more photos like this and the public will be fascinated by her fall from SuperModelWhoredom, settting up the stage for her SupremelySlutty Comeback.

Bravo, Tyra!

Whodda thunk it?? It's Genius!

Fashionwiredaily.com

Drew Barrymore is the new face of CoverGirl!

Former wild child and Media Whore extraordinaire Drew Barrymore has stepped into a new role. She joins the ranks of Cheryl Tiegs, Rachel Hunter, Christie Brinkley, and Tyra Banks to become the newest face of CoverGirl cosmetics.

The announcement was made in Los Angeles where the 32-year-old actress has just wrapped up the CoverGirl spots that will appear in TV and print ads starting January 2008. Dressed in a canary yellow Carolina Herrera shift dress and grass green Christian Louboutin heels, the "Charlie's Angels" actress seemed to glow from the attention. The Tea Room can't wait to watch Drew's second act!

Media Whore Update: Tyra

Reminder: The Whorehouse loves to dress celebs.

Here is our beloved Tyra wearing client Iceberg.

No one is better at Upping Her Slut Factor than Tyra!