SPECIAL OPERATION

photos: startratsphoto.com

Here's Tori Spelling guest hosting The Pussycat Dolls at Pure. As a true Media Whore-wannabe, Tori knows that the ONLY chance she has of getting her picture published is by Upping Her Slut Factor. Though the photo is mildly disgusting, the Tea Room applauds her efforts and wishes Tori would share some of her tramp-wear with ... you guessed it ... Demi Moore.

Here's Demi at the 55th San Sebastion Film Festival. She looks like she's going to a funeral in Palermo. Where is our midriff-bearing, breast-flashing 'Striptease' star? Why, Demi, if you have a boyfriend that is half your age, are you dressing like his mother?

Imagine if we took the slutty cells from Tori and transplanted them back into Demi. Instant Media Whore transformation! Boy do we miss Demi Whore.

Hilary Swank and Demi Moore Backstage at Miss Sixty

We've noticed that Hilary has vastly improved her Media Whore skills lately. The Tea Room loves Hilary's slutty shirt, flowing hair, toothy smile. Demi... what the heck's going on? Where has our pole-dancing, gyrating, show-it-if-you-got-it Hollywood diva gone? Why when we see you now do you look like a cross between Tuesday from the Adam's Family and that mean buyer from Barney's? Is it that you've had so much botox that you are unable to move your face? It is still no excuse for covering up that expensive flesh. Ashton can't be turned on; we know we're not.