Pig Face + Boob Job + Anorexia = Viable Media Whore

Image: Askmen.com

So Victoria Beckham tells Ellen Degeneres she doesn't exercise.

"I don't [work out] because I can't get my head around what to wear at the gym. I don't do anything. I'm running around after three kids and they play soccer. They just . . . throw footballs at me and I just stand from left to right and that kind of keeps me fit."

Yet another reason to love her. Smack!

Crash Into Me

photo: Hollywoodrag.com news: WGSN.com

The Tea Room loves how uber-ug Media Whore VICTORIA BECKHAM managed to crash the PRINCESS DIANA inquest, while modelling in a fashion shoot in Paris. That's original!

Posh is currently working on a magazine assignment for US Elle and has been spotted around the city, sporting a succession of rather fabulous Up Your Slut Factor ensembles. But according to The Sun, Vic managed to accidently walk through a makeshift courtroom set up outside the Ritz Hotel, where Diana and DODI AL FAYED stayed ten years ago. Stunned jurors could only look on, open-mouthed, as she breezed through the crowd.

"It was amazing. She was the last person you expected to see," said one witness. To be fair, it's not really her fault, she happens to also be staying at the Ritz, but then her whole life does reek of one big publicity stunt.

Isn't that what we're going for here?

Drag Queen Couture

images by ANG via Fame Pictures

Here's Media Whore extraordinaire Victoria Beckham doing a photo shoot in Paris yesterday. Vicki perfectly illustrates three top Media Whore mantras, as follows:

1. Dress like a whore when in front of cameras.
2. Starve yourself to impossible thinness.
3. No matter how ugly you are, you will always attract attention away from your ugliness if you glob on makeup.

Unfortunately, the one mantra that Victoria has yet to master is the SMILE.

Vicki's absolute refusal to smile is the reason that most of the world views her as a freakish snob. Someone needs to spike her green tea with happy pills!