Crash Into Me

photo: Hollywoodrag.com news: WGSN.com

The Tea Room loves how uber-ug Media Whore VICTORIA BECKHAM managed to crash the PRINCESS DIANA inquest, while modelling in a fashion shoot in Paris. That's original!

Posh is currently working on a magazine assignment for US Elle and has been spotted around the city, sporting a succession of rather fabulous Up Your Slut Factor ensembles. But according to The Sun, Vic managed to accidently walk through a makeshift courtroom set up outside the Ritz Hotel, where Diana and DODI AL FAYED stayed ten years ago. Stunned jurors could only look on, open-mouthed, as she breezed through the crowd.

"It was amazing. She was the last person you expected to see," said one witness. To be fair, it's not really her fault, she happens to also be staying at the Ritz, but then her whole life does reek of one big publicity stunt.

Isn't that what we're going for here?

Media Whore Quote of the Day

From People.com: "Fashion is on my side, so I think I can work it out in normal clothes until the eight or ninth month, then I might have to break down and do maternity." HALLE BERRY

Halle Berry has been admired by the Whorehouse since we dressed her in Fernando Sanchez back in the 90s.

Tummy Trouble: J Lo Gives a 'No Comment' On Her Pregnancy

With photos like these, who needs a comment?

Take it from D.W., if you want to keep your pregancy a secret, make like a bear & hibernate for six months. You may not think we notice, but trust us even your Puerto Rican aroz con pollos is expanding.

Picture = 1,000 Words

Cindy C at The Hollywood Style Awards:
"Does standing next to Teri Hatcher make me look as old as her?"

"Also, will people think that we're friends? 'Cause we're not. Maybe if I look away as if she just stepped into the shot after my husband ran to the bathroom..."

Teri:
"I am not afraid to be photographed next to her, I had another round of botox yesterday."

Overheard in Paris:

Bar Rafaeli: "I know my butt looks huge, that's why I tied a sweatshirt around my waist."

Naomi: "I am so much prettier than all of these bloody bitches."

M.I.A. Update #3: Where Are You Rachel Williams?

The Tea Room is looking for Rachel Williams.

I.M. fondly remembers her from when they both lived in Millbrook, New York. I.M. was a lifeguard at the town pool she frequented when not appearing on covers of Vogue and in Absolut Vodka campaings.

From her Press Pimp's Archives:
She started her career as a model and later became a singer in the rock group, Rock Solid. After performing with that band on two albums (Angelfire, Black Out), she made two solo albums (Hear, Rock On). She made her film debut in the action horror film Wings Of The Crow and she followed that with her role in Mrs. Death around the same time. Rachel's daughter Danielle played her character's daughter in Wings Of The Crow.

From the Tea Room archives:
2000:
Rachel appeared in "Strangers with Candy" in the episode "Yes You Can't" as Dr. Rachel Williams, Supermodel

1996:
Rachel presents at The Girlie Show, a British TV program which became notorious as an example of ladette vulgarity.

1995: LEZBO LANE
Rachel's manager publicly announced her relationship with British pop singer Alice Temple: "The simplicity of the story is what makes it really beautiful. Here are two people who respect each other and have an attraction based on their life and their lifestyle. They have a lot of time to be with each other (sharing a flat in London). They've created a life together. Rachel has no problem with the fact that she's with Alice." "I never thought to hide it," the megamodel known as The Amazon shrugged in coming out of the fashion closet to shocked headlines. "I've had flings with women before, though my long-term relationships have always been with men. I was pleasantly surprised when I fell for Alice! "-PerfectPeople.net

EARLY 90S:
Rachel the subject of a bitter lawsuit battle over her being lured away from Click Model Management by Christy Turlington to change her management contract over to Ford Models, which managed Christy.

M.I.A. Update #2: Karen Mulder

photo credit?

The Tea Room Investigation Continues.

2001: Mulder filed a rape complaint in France against Prince Albert of Monaco. She made a similar accusation during a taping of a television show, but the producers deemed her emotionally unstable and did not broadcast the interview. Later a rumor spread that Mulder had been committed to a psychiatric clinic.

2002: Mulder announced that she had been sexually abused as a child. Her father publicly blamed her troubles on drugs. Later in 2002 it was reported that she had attempted suicide from an overdose of sleeping pills.

2006: Mulder embarks on singing career, hitting the French charts with a Gloria Gaynor cover.

2007: Mulder is reborn as Media Whore on Paris runways!

M.I.A. Update #1: The Return of the 90s Super Model Is Upon Us

Christian Dior Fall 2007 Haute Couture by John Galliano

Now this is showing the old gals a little more respect, don't you think?

Here are Linda Evangelista, Shalom Harlow, Helena Christensen, Amber Valletta and Karen Mulder dressed like high class Whores from yesteryear.

Who better to model Whore style than Media Whore models of yesteryear?

Witness the "unexplained" return of the Glamazon.

M.I.A.s No More: Media Whore Supermodels from 80s and 90s Found on Louis Vuitton Runway...

They're back! Stephanie Seymour, Eva Herzigova, Nadja Auermann, Naomi Campbell and Carmen Cass opened the Louis Vuitton show today in plastic nurses uniforms. Though we're glad to see them back as working girls, holy shit do they look grotesque!

Plastic nurse uniforms with muzzles? This is what happens to models when they're over 30.

Photos: Alessandro Lucioni and Matteo Volta

Ultimate Media Whore Photographer Aarron Cobbett Celebrates Publication of His Book

Our favorite Press Pimps at MAO PR are celebrating the publication of COBBETT modern male pin-up photos by Aarron Cobbett.

Post Book Signing Celebration with Titan Star Damien Crosse.

Thursday, October 11 @ 8:00 PM
Amalia, 204 West 55th Street, NYC
WWW.amalia-nyc.com

For information, contact 212.245.1234

MAO PR 212.226.8510

http://www.aaroncobbett.com

SuperWhores Pose For A Cure

Yes, Media Whores, it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Tea Room friend Ralph Lauren designed the Fashion Targets Breast Cancer Polo to raise money for the Fashion Targets Breast Cancer campaign.

Lily Donaldson has been called out by the Tea Room for her skeletal ways but the little Media Whore has made us proud by mugging for this good cause. Photographer Patrick Demarchelier, creative director David Lipman and five of the world's hottest supermodels contributed their time and talents for this shot. In addition to Lily, the campaign features Gemma Ward, Daria Werbowy, Lily Cole and Du Juan (all IMG models).

This year, Fashion Targets Breast Cancer has teamed up with Ralph Lauren to design a polo shirt that raises money for the cause in addition to making fashionistas for the cause look preppily hot. The polo shirt, available for $75.00 exclusively at Net-A-Porter.com, will be the first item to launch the global retail partnership. Sixty-five dollars (close to 90%) of each purchase will be donated to Fashion Targets Breast Cancer Worldwide to support local breast cancer charities around the world. Since the inception of the program, Fashion Targets Breast Cancer has raised over 40 million dollars for breast cancer charities in 13 countries.

In the upcoming months, the website will feature limited-edition merchandise by other internationally renowned designers, all available at the “FTBC store” on the Net-A-Porter website. In another partnership to raise funds and awareness, look for a quilted ballet slipper with the FTBC bull’s-eye logo inside from Scoop beginning in October. Currently, Scoop offers a different style flat that has raised over $30,000 since 2006 available at select Scoop boutiques.

For more information, go to www.fashiontargetsbreastcancer.org and www.Net-A-Porter.com to purchase a polo in support.

Breast cancer effects nearly 1.5 million women (including Media Whores) annually.

Watch the behind the scenes video at http://www.net-a-porter.com/FTBC/FTBehindTheScenes

Drag Queen Couture

images by ANG via Fame Pictures

Here's Media Whore extraordinaire Victoria Beckham doing a photo shoot in Paris yesterday. Vicki perfectly illustrates three top Media Whore mantras, as follows:

1. Dress like a whore when in front of cameras.
2. Starve yourself to impossible thinness.
3. No matter how ugly you are, you will always attract attention away from your ugliness if you glob on makeup.

Unfortunately, the one mantra that Victoria has yet to master is the SMILE.

Vicki's absolute refusal to smile is the reason that most of the world views her as a freakish snob. Someone needs to spike her green tea with happy pills!

Male Models Upping Their Miami Slut Factor

Male Models have long been a favorite of the Whorehouse but the Miami Male Models win overall for always Upping Their Slut Factor successfully!

All models from Signature Models Miami.

Wedding Bells in the Tea Room!

wireimage.com

Two Media Whores Collide!

Pam Anderson married Rick Salomon last nite on the Vegas Strip.

Now, we all know Media Whore Hall-of-Famer Pam. But you may not realize that you already know Rick too. He made his Media Whore debut in the Paris Hilton sex tape! The Tea Room couldn't have planned it better. Now he's following up that hook with a marriage to a Super Whore.

Superbly done!

Blass is Back!

Peter Som.
Photo: Style.com

As many of you know, the Whorehouse (a.k.a Iliad Communications & Producton) produced front-of-house for the Bill Blass fashion shows. From the mid-90s until Mr. Blass's retirement and for a few of his replacements, I.M. and D.W. happily escorted Ivana, Blaine, Mercedes, Nan and the other ladies who used to lunch to their seats.

Bill Blass, Ltd announced that Peter Som has been appointed creative director of the company's women's division and Michael Bastian, creative director for menswear. In this role Som will oversee the entire women's design teams for Bill Blass licensed and wholly owned businesses, including the ready-to-wear collection. He will assume his new role beginning with the Pre-Fall 2008 Women's Collection. Prabal Gurung, who has been at Blass for four years, will remain design director for the collection reporting to Som. Bastian will design and oversee a men's high-end collection for the brand to be launched at a later date as well as all licensed and wholly owned menswear categories.

The Tea Room sends out a loud round of applause for this appointment that finally makes sense!!

Love Is In The Scent of an IT Model

IT Model Irina Lazareanu.

Photo: Eli Ceballos.

Media Whore Kate Moss didn't return the Press Pimps calls for a reactive quote but the Tea Room has learned that Irina Lazareanu and former Kate Moss love bug and drummer for the Babyshambles, Pete Doherty, are engaged.

“I very recently got engaged,” the model told WWD after she was spotted wearing an engagement ring during Paris Fashion Week.

The rocker is more famous for his on again-off again relationship with Kate Moss. Irina was the face of Kate Moss’s debut range for Topshop and walks the runway for the biggest names in fashion.

Although no firm date has been established, the wedding is apparently just around the corner. The Tea Room wonders if Kate Moss would consider being a Media Whore of Honor?

Shout Out - Yana launches Shiny Mama Cosmetics at ShinyMamaBeauty.com

SPECIAL OPERATION

photos: startratsphoto.com

Here's Tori Spelling guest hosting The Pussycat Dolls at Pure. As a true Media Whore-wannabe, Tori knows that the ONLY chance she has of getting her picture published is by Upping Her Slut Factor. Though the photo is mildly disgusting, the Tea Room applauds her efforts and wishes Tori would share some of her tramp-wear with ... you guessed it ... Demi Moore.

Here's Demi at the 55th San Sebastion Film Festival. She looks like she's going to a funeral in Palermo. Where is our midriff-bearing, breast-flashing 'Striptease' star? Why, Demi, if you have a boyfriend that is half your age, are you dressing like his mother?

Imagine if we took the slutty cells from Tori and transplanted them back into Demi. Instant Media Whore transformation! Boy do we miss Demi Whore.

We Didn't Know He Would Take Us So Literally!

photo: Nigel Parry/CPI for Newsweek

Yes, designer Anand Jon was, at one time, a client of the Whorehouse (a.k.a. Iliad Communications & Production). And yes, we promote dressing and behaving like Media Whores. But we never told our client to actually USE women like whores!

And so, since that distinction was apparently lost in translation, Anand Jon sits in an L.A. jail and faces the real possibility of designing prison garb in a ten-by-ten cell for the rest of his life.

This from WGSN.com:

MORE WOMEN COME FORWARD AS ANAND JON RAPE CASE GROWS
The rape and sexual assault case against designer Anand Jon in California has grown with new charges yesterday, taking the total number of women claiming some form of assault to 20.

The 33-year-old celebrity designer has been charged with raping or assaulting women aged 14 to 27 after luring them with promises of modeling work.

He is currently being held in jail in Los Angeles and the authorities there are asking for bail to be set at over $5m. However, his defence attorney said there is evidence of collusion between alleged victims. He is also under investigation in Texas, New York and Massachusetts.

BATTLE FOR CONTROL IN PARIS TODAY: Whores v. Trolls

WHORES

photos: Getty Images/Getty Images/Swan

Vivienne Westwood ruled the Tea Room today, as the photos on the top plainly illustrate. Vivienne is a true champion of Whore style!

And leave it to Jean Paul Gaultier to make red-neck Whores hot. Seeing the outfit at left brings us to our happy place: Madonna's 'Ray of Light' Tour. Come back Midge!

TROLLS

photo: FashionWeekDaily/swan

Thanks to Viktor & Rolf, Balenciaga and Issey Miyake, we took a WILD acid trip in Paris today.

First, we wrestled with a turnip troll while listening to Mozart's Violin Concerto No.2; the turnip troll was quite nasty and ruined a perfectly functioning Stradivarius by splashing turnip juice all over our instrument and our pretty Viktor & Rolf concert gown. See top left for visual.

Pissed off, we took a much-needed romp to the Moon to do some test runs with our new Lunar Landing Module, which thanks to Balenciaga's krypton-coated space suit, is able to be manned outside our spaceship without an oxygen-supplying helmet. Top right shows krypton-coated suit.

Unfortunately, we came back from our trip and now look like the Issey Miyake model, above.

Here Comes The Bride

Wow, we didn't see this coming.. Looks like there's a wedding scene in "Sex in the City: The Movie."

Now, in the Tea Room's fantasy "Sex and the City" wedding Carrie is wearing the DSquared trapeze dress with crystal embellishments that came down the runway in Milan.

Dare to dream.

The reality, as scene in photo above, is that wardrobe has dipped into, yes, its THIRD role of disgarded Rachel Atwell for Shabby Chic fabric. They've used so much of the magic fabric that they have erased Sarah Jessica's ample breasts, making her look ... what is that anti-Media Whore word? Oh yes ... frumpy. We feel dirty just saying that word in the Tea Room.

Must quickly make like a slut and remove a piece of clothing.

Behind The Tea Room

Before closing on October 1st, the Tea Room visited Henri Bendel to check out photographer Mark Seliger’s book, “In My Stairwell.”

His collection of photography was showcased on the third floor of the store and included Media Whores having their picture taken, quite literally, in a stairwell.

Lenny Kravitz in the buff.

Buffed Bruce Springsteen as well.

Note to self (I.M): must look for black and white photos circa 1984 behind high school gymnasium.

Shout Out: Wendy's Daily Advice Column at NewYorkCool.com

Attention Press Pimps: Wendy from www.newyorkcool.com is bringing her Texas-style advice to New York's sexually challenged.

The Tea Room loves her!

Check it out..


I.M.

Meanwhile, Back in New York...

photo: splashnews.com

It's official: The "Sex and the City: The Movie" wardrobe crew has tapped into their second bolt of disgarded Rachel Atwell for Shabby Chic fabric. The feeling of wearing such a hideous, un-MediaWhoreworthy ensemble has really helped Sarah Jessica tap into the dejected emotions needed for this scene, thus illustrating Method acting in its highest form.

Finally, Whore Expertise: Paris Fashion Week

Getty Images

DIOR

John Galliano understands the power of the slut. Just check out the looks that came down the Dior runway today!

From the sumersaults-in-bed hairstyles to the over-applied eyemakeup to the lingerie-inspired frocks where silk, lace and feathers were kings; the Tea Room couldn't be happier.

As much as we love New York, the Tea Room has a feeling that Paris might emerge as the true leaders of Whore Fashion this season.

Merci John Galliano!

Whodda thunk it?? It's Genius!

Fashionwiredaily.com

Drew Barrymore is the new face of CoverGirl!

Former wild child and Media Whore extraordinaire Drew Barrymore has stepped into a new role. She joins the ranks of Cheryl Tiegs, Rachel Hunter, Christie Brinkley, and Tyra Banks to become the newest face of CoverGirl cosmetics.

The announcement was made in Los Angeles where the 32-year-old actress has just wrapped up the CoverGirl spots that will appear in TV and print ads starting January 2008. Dressed in a canary yellow Carolina Herrera shift dress and grass green Christian Louboutin heels, the "Charlie's Angels" actress seemed to glow from the attention. The Tea Room can't wait to watch Drew's second act!

Stylist to the Stars Rachel Zoe Walks the Line

WireImage

LoHo, Nicole Richie & Rachel Zoe

Yes Rachel, you are credited with shrinking Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton to super-waifdom. But your magic behind the scenes became controversial, taking you from Press Pimp to Media Whore seemingly overnight. Big mistake! Press Pimps HATE when other Pimps shine the spotlight on themselves. Case in point is the following excerpt from WGSN. Rachel, the Tea Room wants you to take a long vacation and re-emerge at a later date.

From WGSN.com ...

Come in RACHEL ZOE, your time is up... Fresh from this brilliantly ill-advised statement during New York Fashion Week - "ANNA WINTOUR is one of my heroes, but they say I'm more influential... As great as it is, Vogue won't change a designer's business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week" - the diminutive stylist is feeling the burn... Page Six reports that Zoe has been unceremoniously dumped by her agency Magnet. Oops. And here's Rach's official statement: "I left Magnet because I am now repped solely by TODD SHEMARYA for styling and branding. I love Magnet, and there is no drama surrounding it." Right... But we much prefer this one, from an agency snitch. "They didn't want to anger Anna and Anna is more important to work with."