Kevin Federline Named Father of the Year by Details magazine!

Our relentless lobbying has finally paid off!

Happy Birthday Grave Shout Out To Anna Nicole!

Photo: MAO Mag.com
Wednesday, November 28th would have been Anna Nicole Smith's 40th birthday. The former playmate and reality star was born in Houston, Texas on November 28th, 1967 and died this year on February 8th of an overdose. Her son died on September 10th, 2006 of an apparent overdose as well. Her daughter Dannielynn survives.

The Tea Room will pop a diet pill in your honor, Nicole.

More Paris News!

Photo: DreamCatchers.com

After keeping a low profile, saving drunk elephants and doing charity work a la Angelina Jolie, the Tea Room was worried that Paris Hilton may have lost her Whore juice. Then we learned about her tantrum backstage at the Victoria's Secret fashion show we were happy ... umm saddened ... to get word that she threw yet another one at the The Beverly Hills Hotel salon and refused to pay $1400 for the DreamCatchers hair extensions being woven into her head. She felt that she was their "muse" and so the mortified salon manager allowed his "muse" to only pay half price.

There's our trusted Media Whore!

Britney Back in Court!

Look how nice we are, posting a flattering photo of Brit instead of the usual cellulite-ridden tart shots we see of La Spears nowadays...

So luxury goods giant Louis Vuitton has won a lawsuit that claimed a Britney Spears video broke couterfeiting laws by featuring a LV monogram dashboard in a pink Hummer.

Sadly ... oops ... we mean luckily, Spears herself was not found guilty, Sony BMG and MTV Online were fined and ordered to stop screening and marketing the video. Apparently the video represents an "attack" on Louis Vuitton's luxury image.

The Tea Room wonders how Britney could be mistaken for not being luxury?

Flu-Killing Fabric

Good news Germaphobe Whores! A scientist has developed a way to destroy the flu virus by using textile dyes in fabrics. Georgia Institute of Technology scientist Stephen Michielsen has filed a patent saying that the dyes release oxygen radicals upon exposure to light which can deactivate the virus. He plans to embed the dyes in fibers and weave them into textiles, which could then be used as filters in ventilation systems, uniforms and aircraft upholstery.

Runny noses are so un-Whoreworthy!

Anne Klein by Isabel Toledo Closed!

Photo: NYMag.com

Jones Apparel Group put the kabash on the Anne Klein designer line headed by Isabel Toledo. Despite media acclaim received for Toledo's two seasons, the retail group said it will focus on the brand's Anne Klein New York and AK Anne Klein collections instead.

If this photo's any indication, perhaps imitating Tuesday from the Adams Family wasn't in Isabel's best interest.

Think slutty Isabel, think slutty.

Wear Your Next Magazine Subscription!

Yawn...

No shit, really? Talk to us when she gives birth to a baby with two heads and an itty bitty booty.

Help End World Hunger

OK, seriously...

www.freerice.com has created a word game. For each word you get right, they will donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations to help end world hunger.

May not seem like much but since its launch on October 7, 2007, Free Rice.com has donated 4,181,025,950 grains of rice!

The Tea Room says PLAY PLAY PLAY!!

Back to Life's Important Issues..

Photo: People.com

While backstage at the Victoria's Secret fashion show, Paris Hilton was up to her usual pre-jail Media Whore tricks. First she threw a little fit, stealing a dress to be worn by another model. Moments later, in tramped Naomi Campbell who did the same EXACT thing to Paris, leaving La Hilton naked.

Fortunately, her birthday suit is her favorite outfit.

Graduate Fashion Week?

The Tea Room thinks the U.S. should follow suit and produce a graduate fashion week just like the Brits. We need more young blood in the tents!

The UK's Graduate Fashion Week has launched an Industry and Media Board, which has so far attracted almost 100 companies to join as it bids to help graduates find employment once they leave university.

Some of the names that have already joined the board include Patrick Cox, Betty Jackson, Mulberry, Ben de Lisi, Eley Kishimoto, John Rocha, Jaeger, Zara, Liberty and adidas, while media support includes WGSN, Glamour, GQ, Elle, Vogue, the National Magazine Company, The Daily Telegraph and The Times.

Ohmigod, They're Back from Planet Krypton to Kill Superman Once And For All!

Please stop scaring us with your creepy ads.

Not that you can tell with this horrific photo, but they want you to know that Viktor & Rolf launched a clothing line with HM and now a luxury leather collection with Samsonite complete with travel bags and accessories to be called Samsonite Black Label by Viktor & Rolf. Said line will be launched in the fall of 2008 and available in stores in spring 2009.

The Tea Room is heading home for the holidays with the Alexander McQueen Samsonite Black Label suitcase and looks forward to being even more travel-worthy with these. Maybe secret Kryptonite compartment will render evil family members powerless.

British Fashion Awards (Drumroll Please...)

Surprise! Stella McCartney has been named Designer of the Year for 2007 by The British Fashion Council.

The Fashion Creator award, re-named to honor the late Isabella Blow, went to Michael Howells. Dame Vivienne Westwood received the Outstanding Achievement in Fashion Design award.

The New Designer of the Year award went to Scottish (shout-out to our skirted bretheren!) designer Christopher Kane. Marc Jacobs received the Retail Concept award for his London store.

The Red Carpet Designer award went to the Marchesa label and Christopher Bailey for Burberry received the Menswear Designer award.

Model of the Year award went to Agyness Deyn (pictured above). Agyness is definitely not Media Whore material, UNLESS she turns out to be a man, which the Tea Room bets any amount of money 'she' is.

Tea and Toys

David Barton Gym's annual Toy Drive for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is on Tuesday, December 11th from 8:30-11:30 PM. DavidBartonGym is located at 215 W 23rd Street between 7th & 8th Ave.

Hosted by David Barton, Susanne Bartsch, Alan Cumming, Debbie Harry, Marc Jacobs, Sarah Jessica Parker, Narciso Rodriguez, Rachel Weisz, and Rufus Wainwright. Music by DJ Johnny Dynell.

A new unwrapped toy is required for admission. Toys are needed for children of all ages! Kenny Kenny and Adam will be at the door checking the gifts while bottles of V2 Energy Vodka, C&P Wines, and OGO Water will be consumed inside.

The Tea Room raises its glass!

LoHo Rides Again!

LoHo is back! Chances for red Black Friday are high.

So sweet: LoHo was in Manhattan to celebrate Thanksgiving with family, group therapy, and new AA beau (Riley Giles) whom she met in rehab.

She and uber parents Dina and Michael, along with sister Ali (eating disorders to follow) bought goodies at Armani Exchange and Intermix while the new BF slept. Sleep? Why you ask? Well, he was out partying all week without Mizz LoHo. Sounds like a great guy and a wonderful influence.

The Tea Room thinks this one is a keeper!

iPhone Update

The Brits are not buying the much-hyped pricey iPhone according to a new survey. With costs of £269 in the UK ($556.60 in the U.S.) and the fact that many mobile phones are free with a monthly contract in the UK, Apple is gonna have to bend over a little bit more to get its customers on that side of the pond.

Victory Over Divorce

Longtime ILIAD client, Marcia Sherrill, the delightful designer behind Kleinberg Sherrill accessories, has answered another calling in response to her divorce from Mr. William Kleinberg. She has founded Victory Over Divorce a website exclaiming that she is "determined to prove that in the face of divorce or its aftermath, the best outcome is to live well. Victory is to be had in surviving and triumphing. So if you are contemplating divorce, in the midst of divorce, or recovering post-divorce, join us as we help you achieve what you want most. We're here to prove that divorce can be the beginning of a new chapter in your life."

Marcia continues, "With our experts here to enlighten, our chat rooms and message boards for you to find help, conversation, or just information, our partner groups providing support and generating actionable legislation, and our Empowerment Zone with career opportunities and free tools to help you create a new you, V.O.D. gets you back on track to success!"

The Tea Room says Rock on Marcia!

Tea and Movie Time - Bond Boy Daniel Craig

Bond boy Daniel Craig on his killer bod:

"Last time I did a lot of weights to bulk up. This time I'll do more running. I won't be as 'no-neck'. But when this guy takes his shirt off, he should look like he could kill someone."

Said his Bond co-star Dame Judi Dench, after sneaking a peak at Daniel getting dressed in his trailer, "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"

The Tea Room eagerly awaits his first nude scene and is madly in love with the Dame Judi!

Tea and Movie Time - Naked Jolie

Enchanted brought in $50 million over the holiday weekend making it the number one movie at the North American box office. The flick stars Amy Adams (pictured above in GAP ad) as a cartoon princess exiled to modern-day Manhattan by Susan Sarandon. The film also stars Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden (also pictured above in GAP ad).

Beowulf came in third with $16.2 million and a total gross of $56.4 million.

The Tea Room thinks no doubt due to Angelina Jolie's animated nakedness!

Tea and TV Time

The Tea Room long suspected what TMZ and bloggers across the states are reporting on the "Dancing With The Stars" faiting spell of Marie Osmond. Not only that she faked the fainting but that she has a writer with her at all times off camera to throw her funny lines.

The Tea Room wonders why was this obviously not so clever writer has been allowed to cross the picket lines.

MWhore Stylist Does Good for GAP (Product) RED

Stylist Katie Grand is working on the new GAP (PRODUCT) RED collection launching next month and is recruiting fashion talents such as Giles Deacon, Proenza Schouler (one of the Tea Room's favorite duos), Pierre Hardy and Stephen Jones.

Half of profits will fund anti-retroviral drugs for women and children affected by AIDS and HIV in Africa.

Gut Feeling

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo on vacation in the Bahamas

Oh boy, Nick, time for some serious ab work. There are cameras out there you fool! Do you look in the mirror? Stupid question, you perfectly vain boy toy. Do you look in the mirror while you're sitting down? Even super-hot Vanessa has her arms folded in front of her tummy, just in case.

Just Out of Her Cave...

C'mon Nicole.... what kind of Media Whore are you? Why won't you allow your skin to feel the cooling mist of an airbrush tanner? Why can't your breasts be freed from their Edwardian-like bondage? Why is your frizzy do upswept into a frosty bun ala the the evil White Witch from "The Chronicles of Narnia?" The Tea Room can only speculate that you are in the middle of a deep and serious depression. Shine a light on the problem, Nicole, and come out of your ice cave!

The Photo Says It All

nytimes

Soldiers from the 10th Mountain Division in early November returning from Iraq to Fort Drum, NY.

Happy Thanksgiving.

We Just Can't Get Enough...

Of Black Lycra.

Here's Lauren Conrad taking her look to the streets of L.A. Why should Sharon Stone and Tyra Banks get all the attention? Lauren makes her own feeble attempt at what the Tea Room now calls the "Kamikaze Ensemble," an outfit that contains Lycra/Spandex/Poly on upper and/or lower half of the body. The term 'kamikaze' implies that the wearer can either blow up her Media Whore image with her stunning presentation, ala Sharon Stone, or crash in a suicidal display of flagrant disregard for one's own phsysical and spiritual safety, ala Tyra Banks and our little friend Lauren here. The Tea Room will list the ways that this Kamikaze Ensemble went wrong:

1. Kamikaze Ensemble needs to reveal something good, like your Camel Toe. This ensemble only reveals Lauren's saddle bags.
2. 3 trends in one look: the blousy shirt, the oversize bag and, of course, the Kamikaze Ensemble. Oh me weary eyes! Pick one.
3. Yes, black is the new black, but only if you are SURE your outfit is hot. Lauren, you look like you're heading to the Mall of America to buy Jessica Simpson's Hair U Wear. Even a gold bag would have made this train-wreck salvagable.
'

Sign a Cheerleader, Save Dooney and Bourke

Hero Hayden Panettiere will be the new face of Dooney and Bourke.

Following in the footsteps of Mischa Barton, LoHo and Emma Roberts, whe will launch her modeling career in December.

She and designer Peter Dooney have created the limited edition Hayden Bag, a large leather shoulder bag with puffy pleats and buckle closure.

Sounds like an original design.

Photo: teenhollywood.com

Barbie Still On Top ...

Oh Whores, get your minds out of the gutter! We're talking market share here. Barbie may have had falling sales in recent years but she is on top of the wish list for girls this Holiday season. The poll from BIGresearch for the National Retail Federation shows Barbie ahead of Bratz, Dora the Explorer and Disney Princess.

The poll shows that young boys prefer hi-tech toys such as Transformers, videogames, Nintendo Wii, cars, and Spider-Man.

All pint-sized Whores want Nintendo Wii and Webkinz and Elmo.

Shown: Givenchy Barbie

The World Breathes a Sigh of Relief...

They're back! The Spice Whores took to the stage in Los Angeles yesterday for the 12th Victoria's Secret fashion show, as the start of their world reunion tour since disbanding in 2001. Joining them was model Heidi Klum, who returned to the runway after giving birth to her third child, and husband Seal.

The fashion show airs on CBS on December 4th.

Strike a Pose

David Beckham has been signed to appear in the Emporio Armani Spring 2008 underwear campaign for a reported $41.4 million.

The Tea Room is wondering what kind of outrageous positions Becks will have to endure to earn that paycheck!

Hellllp!!! It's 1991!

After being replaced 20 years ago, Claudia Schiffer will return as the face of Chanel. Seems there are no Supermodels under 35 that can fill the void.

The Bridget Bardot look-alike held her original position for five years until 1996. The Tea Room wonders if Claudia has regained her youthful deweyness by partaking in Swiss lamb-cell injections made popular by Eleanor Lambert and Ivana Trump.

Heads Up Nicolette Sheridan:

Said Kim Cattrall to The UK Times: "I'm scared of surgery because I don't want to look in the mirror and not recognize who's looking back. I don't want to be in a room and to have people turn when I leave and say, 'What happened?'"

Kim, we are so relieved to hear that nothing but Dove Nutrium has ever touched your wrinkle-free 45-year-old face!

LoHo's Fast Food Role

TV's Ugly Betty may have a three-episode deal with LoHo starring as an assistant manager of the fast food chain that Betty's dad works at. Finally a role that LoHo can sink her teeth into! The Tea Room is happy that LoHo will be earning a paycheck again, retail needs her spending infusion before the holidays.

CK Loses Fashion Crown

Cocaine Kate was pushed down to #10 on British Harper's Bazaar this year. The 33-year-old uber- Whore was Numero Uno in 2004, two in 2005 and three in 2006.

The Tea Room puts little stock in this list; Helen Mirren number four!

And our favorite model this week, Irina Lazareanu, came in ninth!!!

The Tea Room crowns Kamakaze Lauren Conrad as Number One, just for kicks.

Paris Hilton Shunned to Korea

No more Simple Life. No more Sex Tapes. No more paparazzi waiting at the gates.

Thus, Paris Hilton has renewed her contract to be the face for Fila Korea, the South Korean sportswear 'giant.'

The one-year deal is worth a meager $1 million.

"I am very excited to be here, a great market for me. I think the Korean market is great for me," said the heiress.

Paris, if this fails, there's always Cuba. We hear Fidel is a big fan.

Cavalli H&M Launch in New York City

Roberto Cavalli, model Jessica Stam and around 250 people (some in line since 7:00 PM the night before) ended up in the H&M New York flagship on Fifth Avenue. The womenswear collection vanished within 15 minutes.

An evening dress from the collection, priced at $437.60, is H&M's most expensive outfit ever.

The last 2 of 12 Days of Christmas. Two Cavalli gowns and a 2005 black Mercedes SL-Class!

We'll be back with the rest of this Christmas carol very soon...

LoHo's 2005 black Mercedes SL-Class up for grabs

The Tea Room was wondering why we hadn't been sipping tea and listening to LoHo tid bits lately when this charming piece of news arrived with our canapes:

LoHo's 2005 black Mercedes SL-Class is for sale on Ebay. This is the car that was attacked by a horrible tree that jumped in front of her last May. Of course the accident had nada to do with her being high as a kite on drugs.

The car is going for a very reasonable starting price of $115,000.

And with only days until Christmas ...

Freeze Frame

Dear Doctor,

I know you told me last week that if I got one more Botox injection I would not be able to move my face. I am here to tell you, oh brilliant one, I don't fucking care! Take this photo for example. My face conveys the look of a 25-year-old nymphette on her way to an important premiere (okay I know in reality I'm heading into the opening of the Juicy store in L.A., but blah blah), seemingly oblivious to the fact that there is a camera right next to me. Also, since I always play a bitch on TV I rarely need to smile! You think you're so superior, telling me that my brain could actually freeze if I continue with my monthly shots.

Freeze??

Honey, if I were any hotter you'd need to use sunscreen.

XOXO,
Nicolette

He's Seen A Million Faces and He's Rocked Them All!!!

Pg Six

Tea Room favorite JON Bon Jovi might be planning to run for governor of New Jersey. That's why he's keeping his house in Red Bank, NJ even though he and his wife, Dorothea, and their four kids have moved to SoHo. That's why he performs regularly at fund-raisers for Democrats like Al Gore and John Kerry. And that's why he hired Press Pimp Ken Sunshine, who was once the chief of staff for ex-Mayor David Dinkins.

"Jon has been approached many times about running for office," said Sunshine, who denied the rocker has any political plans. "His day job is going too well, and this way he can keep the house."

Puhleeeeeeeze.....

Media Whore Geniuses Boldly Go Where No (Wo)Man Has Gone Before

Sharon Stone at the Make-a-Wish Ball in Miami.

Media Whores Take Note:

When you're career's in the crapper DON'T FORGET YOUR CAMEL TOE! Yes friends, this oft-forgotten body part can be exposed for a flurry of shutter activity. Not to be outdone by Tyra's lycra number last week, notice that this one perfectly outlines her Netherlands, and Sharon couldn't be happier. We honestly didn't think she could out-do her Basic Instinct Beaver Shot, and we were wrong! Sharon, you are a Media Whore Genius.

Because We Didn't Already Think She's Bonkers...

Celine Dion reacts to losing a bet on a German TV show. Oddly, after seeing the Stone photo above, the Tea Room is relieved that Celine has relinquished her skin-tight stage costumes of yesteryear...though unlike Super Stone, Madame Dion was known for her Spread Eagle Stance while performing her hair-raising lyrics, thus obscuring her Canadian Bacon.

Jailed Jacob the Jeweler

The Tea Room has learned that Jacob the Jeweler will don prison-orange for up to 46 months for obstruction of justice related to a $270 million money laundering scheme. Dare to join Sean Combs, Jay-Z, David Beckham and Mariah Carey for a candle light vigil in Central Park tomorrow.

Roberto Cavalli confirms J.Lo's Pregnancy

Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli has confirmed the (umm) rumors of Jennifer Lopez’s pregnancy. The designer created the costumes for her current concert tour and said, "It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger... At this moment Jennifer Lopez is requesting something very special because she is waiting for the baby".

The Tea Room is knitting bootie-warmers; not to be confused with booties.

Take This Quote To The Bank

txt Hello Mag

"When I left I said 'I don't want a penny'. I offered to Paul that if he protects me from the hatred I'll receive because I am a wife of a Beatle, I'll never say anything derogatory about him."

Media Whores Shun the Greenback

Media Whore Economic News Alert:

GISELE BUNDCHEN HAS DEMANDED SHE BE PAID IN EUROS BECAUSE THE U.S. DOLLAR IS TOO WEAK.

Last week the dollar hit an all-time low against the Euro, the British pound and the Canadian dollar.

The Tea Room understands that when you're only earning $30 mill a year, every cent counts.

Power 100 List

Out.com/Photographer Terry Richardson.

DNR released its Power 100 List.

The Tea Room sends a butt flash to our favorite Media Whores on the list.

As follows ...

#1 Ralph Lauren
#2 Giorgio Armani
#19 Tom Ford (see above photo, left)
#28 Sean Combs
#31 Kenneth Cole
#34 Marc Jacobs
#39 Jay-Z
# 56 Donatella Versace
# 65 Thom Browne
# 83 Michael Kors
# 100 Joseph Abboud

Old Friend of the Whorehouse Celebrates a Birthday!

WWD.com

Once upon a time, Whorehouse Press Pimps I.M. and D.W. toiled away in Eleanor Lambert's office on such clients as Tiffany & Co., Fernando Sanchez, Joan & David (the shoes people!), all while fondling the gorgey jewels of Verdura.

In celebrating its 70th anniversary this month, Verdura is releasing a limited edition piece, the Icon Bracelet, which is an homage to founder Fulco Santostefano della Cerda, Duke of Verdura, known as Fulco di Verdura. The style is a combination of Verdura's most popular charms on its rope chain and only 100 will be produced, each featuring the signature V logo, Verdura seashell, wrapped heart, comedy and tragedy mask, Maltese Cross and chessman.

There is also a retrospective exhibition "Verdura: The Life and Work of a Master Jeweler," beginning November 16th at the Houston Museum of Natural Science.

Hmmm ... should the Whorehouse go for a celebrity product placement on Loho?

Retailers Cut 6,500 Jobs. Loho's fault.

More economic bad news, Media Whores:

The Tea Room overheard that U.S. department and specialty stores have cut a combined 6,500 jobs just last month!

Could this be a direct effect of Paris, Loho, Nicole and Britney being too wasted to shop?

Tea Time!

Tea Biscuit to Andrew Christian for his great line.

The Tea Room Recaps National Underwear Day in August when models of both sexes walked out into Times Square, Manhattan, in nothing but their designer skivvies and sandals. They handed out samples and the Tea Room would like to thank Freshpair for creating this event. Photo of Tea Room favorite line Ginch Gonch.