But wait, where's Dorothy, The Lion and The Scarecrow? Jesus, Nicole, if you're gonna dress like The Tin Man, you gotta bring your entourage!
Ok, seriously. Who the fuck is dressing this Media Whore?
The Tea Room thinks the conversation the week before the premiere of Nicole's new Satanic-cult movie, The Golden Compass, went something like this:
STYLIST: I have an idea, let's make Nicole look fat!
ASSISTANT: It's impossible. She's six feet tall and weighs 100 pounds.
STYLIST: Oh, you stupid little maggot. I can make anyone look fat!
ASSISTANT: Really, superior one? But how?
STYLIST: I shall wrap her in head-to-toe silver lame, but it won't be a dress. It will be a suit, like from Dynasty. I will make the pants of the suit have huge seams running down the front. And I will make sure that the jacket is a tad too small, so it looks like it doesn't fit. I will then stick the ugliest grey shirt I can find under the suit, obscuring any flesh that might otherwise protrude from the tight jacket. She will look like shit!
ASSISTANT: You're a genius!
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