Media Whores' Tea Room

We Are On Hiatus Until Fall Fashion Week!

2008-01-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

Yes, we know we're getting pretty lame, but what with D.W. planning a charity event and I.M. down and out in San Francisco, we are sucked dry of anything meaningful to write.

But fear not Media Whores! What the Press Pimps taketh away they will once again giveth come Fashion Week.

We will do our best to top our favorite images from Spring Fashion Week 2007. See above.

Just Follow The Yellow Brick Road..

2007-12-18T17:59:00.000-08:00

But wait, where's Dorothy, The Lion and The Scarecrow? Jesus, Nicole, if you're gonna dress like The Tin Man, you gotta bring your entourage!

Ok, seriously. Who the fuck is dressing this Media Whore?

The Tea Room thinks the conversation the week before the premiere of Nicole's new Satanic-cult movie, The Golden Compass, went something like this:

STYLIST: I have an idea, let's make Nicole look fat!

ASSISTANT: It's impossible. She's six feet tall and weighs 100 pounds.

STYLIST: Oh, you stupid little maggot. I can make anyone look fat!

ASSISTANT: Really, superior one? But how?

STYLIST: I shall wrap her in head-to-toe silver lame, but it won't be a dress. It will be a suit, like from Dynasty. I will make the pants of the suit have huge seams running down the front. And I will make sure that the jacket is a tad too small, so it looks like it doesn't fit. I will then stick the ugliest grey shirt I can find under the suit, obscuring any flesh that might otherwise protrude from the tight jacket. She will look like shit!

ASSISTANT: You're a genius!

Oh, Lo Ho

2007-12-18T17:56:00.000-08:00

Step away from the boots and run towards the pants section, quick!

Three Signs The Apocolypse is Near...

2007-12-13T16:24:00.000-08:00

SHARON STONE DRESSES LIKE A HOUSEFRAU WHILE SHOPPING IN PARIS ....

SUZANNE SOMERS HIDES FROM THE PRESS WHILE LEAVING BARNEYS IN NEW YORK ....

and PARIS READS A BOOK IN L.A...

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Kevin Federline Named Father of the Year by Details magazine!

2007-11-28T17:55:00.001-08:00

Our relentless lobbying has finally paid off!

Happy Birthday Grave Shout Out To Anna Nicole!

2007-11-28T17:45:00.000-08:00

Photo: MAO Mag.com
Wednesday, November 28th would have been Anna Nicole Smith's 40th birthday. The former playmate and reality star was born in Houston, Texas on November 28th, 1967 and died this year on February 8th of an overdose. Her son died on September 10th, 2006 of an apparent overdose as well. Her daughter Dannielynn survives.

The Tea Room will pop a diet pill in your honor, Nicole.

More Paris News!

2007-11-28T17:30:00.000-08:00

Photo: DreamCatchers.com

After keeping a low profile, saving drunk elephants and doing charity work a la Angelina Jolie, the Tea Room was worried that Paris Hilton may have lost her Whore juice. Then we learned about her tantrum backstage at the Victoria's Secret fashion show we were happy ... umm saddened ... to get word that she threw yet another one at the The Beverly Hills Hotel salon and refused to pay $1400 for the DreamCatchers hair extensions being woven into her head. She felt that she was their "muse" and so the mortified salon manager allowed his "muse" to only pay half price.

There's our trusted Media Whore!

Britney Back in Court!

2007-11-28T17:25:00.001-08:00

Look how nice we are, posting a flattering photo of Brit instead of the usual cellulite-ridden tart shots we see of La Spears nowadays...

So luxury goods giant Louis Vuitton has won a lawsuit that claimed a Britney Spears video broke couterfeiting laws by featuring a LV monogram dashboard in a pink Hummer.

Sadly ... oops ... we mean luckily, Spears herself was not found guilty, Sony BMG and MTV Online were fined and ordered to stop screening and marketing the video. Apparently the video represents an "attack" on Louis Vuitton's luxury image.

The Tea Room wonders how Britney could be mistaken for not being luxury?

Flu-Killing Fabric

2007-11-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

Good news Germaphobe Whores! A scientist has developed a way to destroy the flu virus by using textile dyes in fabrics. Georgia Institute of Technology scientist Stephen Michielsen has filed a patent saying that the dyes release oxygen radicals upon exposure to light which can deactivate the virus. He plans to embed the dyes in fibers and weave them into textiles, which could then be used as filters in ventilation systems, uniforms and aircraft upholstery.

Runny noses are so un-Whoreworthy!

Anne Klein by Isabel Toledo Closed!

2007-11-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

Photo: NYMag.com

Jones Apparel Group put the kabash on the Anne Klein designer line headed by Isabel Toledo. Despite media acclaim received for Toledo's two seasons, the retail group said it will focus on the brand's Anne Klein New York and AK Anne Klein collections instead.

If this photo's any indication, perhaps imitating Tuesday from the Adams Family wasn't in Isabel's best interest.

Think slutty Isabel, think slutty.

Wear Your Next Magazine Subscription!

2007-11-28T17:01:00.000-08:00

Yawn...

2007-11-28T16:55:00.000-08:00

No shit, really? Talk to us when she gives birth to a baby with two heads and an itty bitty booty.

Help End World Hunger

2007-11-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

OK, seriously...

www.freerice.com has created a word game. For each word you get right, they will donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations to help end world hunger.

May not seem like much but since its launch on October 7, 2007, Free Rice.com has donated 4,181,025,950 grains of rice!

The Tea Room says PLAY PLAY PLAY!!

Back to Life's Important Issues..

2007-11-28T16:42:00.000-08:00

Photo: People.com

While backstage at the Victoria's Secret fashion show, Paris Hilton was up to her usual pre-jail Media Whore tricks. First she threw a little fit, stealing a dress to be worn by another model. Moments later, in tramped Naomi Campbell who did the same EXACT thing to Paris, leaving La Hilton naked.

Fortunately, her birthday suit is her favorite outfit.

Graduate Fashion Week?

2007-11-28T16:38:00.000-08:00

The Tea Room thinks the U.S. should follow suit and produce a graduate fashion week just like the Brits. We need more young blood in the tents!

The UK's Graduate Fashion Week has launched an Industry and Media Board, which has so far attracted almost 100 companies to join as it bids to help graduates find employment once they leave university.

Some of the names that have already joined the board include Patrick Cox, Betty Jackson, Mulberry, Ben de Lisi, Eley Kishimoto, John Rocha, Jaeger, Zara, Liberty and adidas, while media support includes WGSN, Glamour, GQ, Elle, Vogue, the National Magazine Company, The Daily Telegraph and The Times.

Ohmigod, They're Back from Planet Krypton to Kill Superman Once And For All!

2007-11-28T16:34:00.000-08:00

Please stop scaring us with your creepy ads.

Not that you can tell with this horrific photo, but they want you to know that Viktor & Rolf launched a clothing line with HM and now a luxury leather collection with Samsonite complete with travel bags and accessories to be called Samsonite Black Label by Viktor & Rolf. Said line will be launched in the fall of 2008 and available in stores in spring 2009.

The Tea Room is heading home for the holidays with the Alexander McQueen Samsonite Black Label suitcase and looks forward to being even more travel-worthy with these. Maybe secret Kryptonite compartment will render evil family members powerless.

British Fashion Awards (Drumroll Please...)

2007-11-28T16:24:00.000-08:00

Surprise! Stella McCartney has been named Designer of the Year for 2007 by The British Fashion Council.

The Fashion Creator award, re-named to honor the late Isabella Blow, went to Michael Howells. Dame Vivienne Westwood received the Outstanding Achievement in Fashion Design award.

The New Designer of the Year award went to Scottish (shout-out to our skirted bretheren!) designer Christopher Kane. Marc Jacobs received the Retail Concept award for his London store.

The Red Carpet Designer award went to the Marchesa label and Christopher Bailey for Burberry received the Menswear Designer award.

Model of the Year award went to Agyness Deyn (pictured above). Agyness is definitely not Media Whore material, UNLESS she turns out to be a man, which the Tea Room bets any amount of money 'she' is.

Tea and Toys

2007-11-27T17:34:00.000-08:00

David Barton Gym's annual Toy Drive for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is on Tuesday, December 11th from 8:30-11:30 PM. DavidBartonGym is located at 215 W 23rd Street between 7th & 8th Ave.

Hosted by David Barton, Susanne Bartsch, Alan Cumming, Debbie Harry, Marc Jacobs, Sarah Jessica Parker, Narciso Rodriguez, Rachel Weisz, and Rufus Wainwright. Music by DJ Johnny Dynell.

A new unwrapped toy is required for admission. Toys are needed for children of all ages! Kenny Kenny and Adam will be at the door checking the gifts while bottles of V2 Energy Vodka, C&P Wines, and OGO Water will be consumed inside.

The Tea Room raises its glass!

LoHo Rides Again!

2007-11-27T17:26:00.000-08:00

LoHo is back! Chances for red Black Friday are high.

So sweet: LoHo was in Manhattan to celebrate Thanksgiving with family, group therapy, and new AA beau (Riley Giles) whom she met in rehab.

She and uber parents Dina and Michael, along with sister Ali (eating disorders to follow) bought goodies at Armani Exchange and Intermix while the new BF slept. Sleep? Why you ask? Well, he was out partying all week without Mizz LoHo. Sounds like a great guy and a wonderful influence.

The Tea Room thinks this one is a keeper!

iPhone Update

2007-11-27T17:20:00.000-08:00

The Brits are not buying the much-hyped pricey iPhone according to a new survey. With costs of £269 in the UK ($556.60 in the U.S.) and the fact that many mobile phones are free with a monthly contract in the UK, Apple is gonna have to bend over a little bit more to get its customers on that side of the pond.

Victory Over Divorce

2007-11-27T17:17:00.000-08:00

Longtime ILIAD client, Marcia Sherrill, the delightful designer behind Kleinberg Sherrill accessories, has answered another calling in response to her divorce from Mr. William Kleinberg. She has founded Victory Over Divorce a website exclaiming that she is "determined to prove that in the face of divorce or its aftermath, the best outcome is to live well. Victory is to be had in surviving and triumphing. So if you are contemplating divorce, in the midst of divorce, or recovering post-divorce, join us as we help you achieve what you want most. We're here to prove that divorce can be the beginning of a new chapter in your life."

Marcia continues, "With our experts here to enlighten, our chat rooms and message boards for you to find help, conversation, or just information, our partner groups providing support and generating actionable legislation, and our Empowerment Zone with career opportunities and free tools to help you create a new you, V.O.D. gets you back on track to success!"

The Tea Room says Rock on Marcia!

Tea and Movie Time - Bond Boy Daniel Craig

2007-11-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

Bond boy Daniel Craig on his killer bod:

"Last time I did a lot of weights to bulk up. This time I'll do more running. I won't be as 'no-neck'. But when this guy takes his shirt off, he should look like he could kill someone."

Said his Bond co-star Dame Judi Dench, after sneaking a peak at Daniel getting dressed in his trailer, "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"

The Tea Room eagerly awaits his first nude scene and is madly in love with the Dame Judi!

Tea and Movie Time - Naked Jolie

2007-11-27T16:53:00.000-08:00

Enchanted brought in $50 million over the holiday weekend making it the number one movie at the North American box office. The flick stars Amy Adams (pictured above in GAP ad) as a cartoon princess exiled to modern-day Manhattan by Susan Sarandon. The film also stars Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden (also pictured above in GAP ad).

Beowulf came in third with $16.2 million and a total gross of $56.4 million.

The Tea Room thinks no doubt due to Angelina Jolie's animated nakedness!

Tea and TV Time

2007-11-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

The Tea Room long suspected what TMZ and bloggers across the states are reporting on the "Dancing With The Stars" faiting spell of Marie Osmond. Not only that she faked the fainting but that she has a writer with her at all times off camera to throw her funny lines.

The Tea Room wonders why was this obviously not so clever writer has been allowed to cross the picket lines.

MWhore Stylist Does Good for GAP (Product) RED

2007-11-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

Stylist Katie Grand is working on the new GAP (PRODUCT) RED collection launching next month and is recruiting fashion talents such as Giles Deacon, Proenza Schouler (one of the Tea Room's favorite duos), Pierre Hardy and Stephen Jones.

Half of profits will fund anti-retroviral drugs for women and children affected by AIDS and HIV in Africa.

Gut Feeling

2007-11-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo on vacation in the Bahamas

Oh boy, Nick, time for some serious ab work. There are cameras out there you fool! Do you look in the mirror? Stupid question, you perfectly vain boy toy. Do you look in the mirror while you're sitting down? Even super-hot Vanessa has her arms folded in front of her tummy, just in case.

Just Out of Her Cave...

2007-11-26T07:59:00.000-08:00

C'mon Nicole.... what kind of Media Whore are you? Why won't you allow your skin to feel the cooling mist of an airbrush tanner? Why can't your breasts be freed from their Edwardian-like bondage? Why is your frizzy do upswept into a frosty bun ala the the evil White Witch from "The Chronicles of Narnia?" The Tea Room can only speculate that you are in the middle of a deep and serious depression. Shine a light on the problem, Nicole, and come out of your ice cave!

The Photo Says It All

2007-11-22T16:39:00.000-08:00

nytimes

Soldiers from the 10th Mountain Division in early November returning from Iraq to Fort Drum, NY.

Happy Thanksgiving.

We Just Can't Get Enough...

2007-11-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Of Black Lycra.

Here's Lauren Conrad taking her look to the streets of L.A. Why should Sharon Stone and Tyra Banks get all the attention? Lauren makes her own feeble attempt at what the Tea Room now calls the "Kamikaze Ensemble," an outfit that contains Lycra/Spandex/Poly on upper and/or lower half of the body. The term 'kamikaze' implies that the wearer can either blow up her Media Whore image with her stunning presentation, ala Sharon Stone, or crash in a suicidal display of flagrant disregard for one's own phsysical and spiritual safety, ala Tyra Banks and our little friend Lauren here. The Tea Room will list the ways that this Kamikaze Ensemble went wrong:

1. Kamikaze Ensemble needs to reveal something good, like your Camel Toe. This ensemble only reveals Lauren's saddle bags.
2. 3 trends in one look: the blousy shirt, the oversize bag and, of course, the Kamikaze Ensemble. Oh me weary eyes! Pick one.
3. Yes, black is the new black, but only if you are SURE your outfit is hot. Lauren, you look like you're heading to the Mall of America to buy Jessica Simpson's Hair U Wear. Even a gold bag would have made this train-wreck salvagable.
'

Sign a Cheerleader, Save Dooney and Bourke

2007-11-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

Hero Hayden Panettiere will be the new face of Dooney and Bourke.

Following in the footsteps of Mischa Barton, LoHo and Emma Roberts, whe will launch her modeling career in December.

She and designer Peter Dooney have created the limited edition Hayden Bag, a large leather shoulder bag with puffy pleats and buckle closure.

Sounds like an original design.

Photo: teenhollywood.com

Barbie Still On Top ...

2007-11-18T10:23:00.000-08:00

Oh Whores, get your minds out of the gutter! We're talking market share here. Barbie may have had falling sales in recent years but she is on top of the wish list for girls this Holiday season. The poll from BIGresearch for the National Retail Federation shows Barbie ahead of Bratz, Dora the Explorer and Disney Princess.

The poll shows that young boys prefer hi-tech toys such as Transformers, videogames, Nintendo Wii, cars, and Spider-Man.

All pint-sized Whores want Nintendo Wii and Webkinz and Elmo.

Shown: Givenchy Barbie

The World Breathes a Sigh of Relief...

2007-11-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

They're back! The Spice Whores took to the stage in Los Angeles yesterday for the 12th Victoria's Secret fashion show, as the start of their world reunion tour since disbanding in 2001. Joining them was model Heidi Klum, who returned to the runway after giving birth to her third child, and husband Seal.

The fashion show airs on CBS on December 4th.

Strike a Pose

2007-11-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

David Beckham has been signed to appear in the Emporio Armani Spring 2008 underwear campaign for a reported $41.4 million.

The Tea Room is wondering what kind of outrageous positions Becks will have to endure to earn that paycheck!

Hellllp!!! It's 1991!

2007-11-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

After being replaced 20 years ago, Claudia Schiffer will return as the face of Chanel. Seems there are no Supermodels under 35 that can fill the void.

The Bridget Bardot look-alike held her original position for five years until 1996. The Tea Room wonders if Claudia has regained her youthful deweyness by partaking in Swiss lamb-cell injections made popular by Eleanor Lambert and Ivana Trump.

Heads Up Nicolette Sheridan:

2007-11-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

Said Kim Cattrall to The UK Times: "I'm scared of surgery because I don't want to look in the mirror and not recognize who's looking back. I don't want to be in a room and to have people turn when I leave and say, 'What happened?'"

Kim, we are so relieved to hear that nothing but Dove Nutrium has ever touched your wrinkle-free 45-year-old face!

LoHo's Fast Food Role

2007-11-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

TV's Ugly Betty may have a three-episode deal with LoHo starring as an assistant manager of the fast food chain that Betty's dad works at. Finally a role that LoHo can sink her teeth into! The Tea Room is happy that LoHo will be earning a paycheck again, retail needs her spending infusion before the holidays.

CK Loses Fashion Crown

2007-11-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

Cocaine Kate was pushed down to #10 on British Harper's Bazaar this year. The 33-year-old uber- Whore was Numero Uno in 2004, two in 2005 and three in 2006.

The Tea Room puts little stock in this list; Helen Mirren number four!

And our favorite model this week, Irina Lazareanu, came in ninth!!!

The Tea Room crowns Kamakaze Lauren Conrad as Number One, just for kicks.

Paris Hilton Shunned to Korea

2007-11-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

No more Simple Life. No more Sex Tapes. No more paparazzi waiting at the gates.

Thus, Paris Hilton has renewed her contract to be the face for Fila Korea, the South Korean sportswear 'giant.'

The one-year deal is worth a meager $1 million.

"I am very excited to be here, a great market for me. I think the Korean market is great for me," said the heiress.

Paris, if this fails, there's always Cuba. We hear Fidel is a big fan.

Cavalli H&M Launch in New York City

2007-11-18T09:50:00.000-08:00

Roberto Cavalli, model Jessica Stam and around 250 people (some in line since 7:00 PM the night before) ended up in the H&M New York flagship on Fifth Avenue. The womenswear collection vanished within 15 minutes.

An evening dress from the collection, priced at $437.60, is H&M's most expensive outfit ever.

The last 2 of 12 Days of Christmas. Two Cavalli gowns and a 2005 black Mercedes SL-Class!

We'll be back with the rest of this Christmas carol very soon...

LoHo's 2005 black Mercedes SL-Class up for grabs

2007-11-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

The Tea Room was wondering why we hadn't been sipping tea and listening to LoHo tid bits lately when this charming piece of news arrived with our canapes:

LoHo's 2005 black Mercedes SL-Class is for sale on Ebay. This is the car that was attacked by a horrible tree that jumped in front of her last May. Of course the accident had nada to do with her being high as a kite on drugs.

The car is going for a very reasonable starting price of $115,000.

And with only days until Christmas ...

Freeze Frame

2007-11-15T19:39:00.000-08:00

Dear Doctor,

I know you told me last week that if I got one more Botox injection I would not be able to move my face. I am here to tell you, oh brilliant one, I don't fucking care! Take this photo for example. My face conveys the look of a 25-year-old nymphette on her way to an important premiere (okay I know in reality I'm heading into the opening of the Juicy store in L.A., but blah blah), seemingly oblivious to the fact that there is a camera right next to me. Also, since I always play a bitch on TV I rarely need to smile! You think you're so superior, telling me that my brain could actually freeze if I continue with my monthly shots.

Freeze??

Honey, if I were any hotter you'd need to use sunscreen.

XOXO,
Nicolette

He's Seen A Million Faces and He's Rocked Them All!!!

2007-11-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

Pg Six

Tea Room favorite JON Bon Jovi might be planning to run for governor of New Jersey. That's why he's keeping his house in Red Bank, NJ even though he and his wife, Dorothea, and their four kids have moved to SoHo. That's why he performs regularly at fund-raisers for Democrats like Al Gore and John Kerry. And that's why he hired Press Pimp Ken Sunshine, who was once the chief of staff for ex-Mayor David Dinkins.

"Jon has been approached many times about running for office," said Sunshine, who denied the rocker has any political plans. "His day job is going too well, and this way he can keep the house."

Puhleeeeeeeze.....

Media Whore Geniuses Boldly Go Where No (Wo)Man Has Gone Before

2007-11-13T14:15:00.000-08:00

Sharon Stone at the Make-a-Wish Ball in Miami.

Media Whores Take Note:

When you're career's in the crapper DON'T FORGET YOUR CAMEL TOE! Yes friends, this oft-forgotten body part can be exposed for a flurry of shutter activity. Not to be outdone by Tyra's lycra number last week, notice that this one perfectly outlines her Netherlands, and Sharon couldn't be happier. We honestly didn't think she could out-do her Basic Instinct Beaver Shot, and we were wrong! Sharon, you are a Media Whore Genius.

Because We Didn't Already Think She's Bonkers...

2007-11-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

Celine Dion reacts to losing a bet on a German TV show. Oddly, after seeing the Stone photo above, the Tea Room is relieved that Celine has relinquished her skin-tight stage costumes of yesteryear...though unlike Super Stone, Madame Dion was known for her Spread Eagle Stance while performing her hair-raising lyrics, thus obscuring her Canadian Bacon.

Jailed Jacob the Jeweler

2007-11-07T17:26:00.000-08:00

The Tea Room has learned that Jacob the Jeweler will don prison-orange for up to 46 months for obstruction of justice related to a $270 million money laundering scheme. Dare to join Sean Combs, Jay-Z, David Beckham and Mariah Carey for a candle light vigil in Central Park tomorrow.

Roberto Cavalli confirms J.Lo's Pregnancy

2007-11-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli has confirmed the (umm) rumors of Jennifer Lopez’s pregnancy. The designer created the costumes for her current concert tour and said, "It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger... At this moment Jennifer Lopez is requesting something very special because she is waiting for the baby".

The Tea Room is knitting bootie-warmers; not to be confused with booties.

Take This Quote To The Bank

2007-11-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

txt Hello Mag

"When I left I said 'I don't want a penny'. I offered to Paul that if he protects me from the hatred I'll receive because I am a wife of a Beatle, I'll never say anything derogatory about him."

Media Whores Shun the Greenback

2007-11-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

Media Whore Economic News Alert:

GISELE BUNDCHEN HAS DEMANDED SHE BE PAID IN EUROS BECAUSE THE U.S. DOLLAR IS TOO WEAK.

Last week the dollar hit an all-time low against the Euro, the British pound and the Canadian dollar.

The Tea Room understands that when you're only earning $30 mill a year, every cent counts.

Power 100 List

2007-11-06T09:03:00.001-08:00

Out.com/Photographer Terry Richardson.

DNR released its Power 100 List.

The Tea Room sends a butt flash to our favorite Media Whores on the list.

As follows ...

#1 Ralph Lauren
#2 Giorgio Armani
#19 Tom Ford (see above photo, left)
#28 Sean Combs
#31 Kenneth Cole
#34 Marc Jacobs
#39 Jay-Z
# 56 Donatella Versace
# 65 Thom Browne
# 83 Michael Kors
# 100 Joseph Abboud

Old Friend of the Whorehouse Celebrates a Birthday!

2007-11-06T08:58:00.001-08:00

WWD.com

Once upon a time, Whorehouse Press Pimps I.M. and D.W. toiled away in Eleanor Lambert's office on such clients as Tiffany & Co., Fernando Sanchez, Joan & David (the shoes people!), all while fondling the gorgey jewels of Verdura.

In celebrating its 70th anniversary this month, Verdura is releasing a limited edition piece, the Icon Bracelet, which is an homage to founder Fulco Santostefano della Cerda, Duke of Verdura, known as Fulco di Verdura. The style is a combination of Verdura's most popular charms on its rope chain and only 100 will be produced, each featuring the signature V logo, Verdura seashell, wrapped heart, comedy and tragedy mask, Maltese Cross and chessman.

There is also a retrospective exhibition "Verdura: The Life and Work of a Master Jeweler," beginning November 16th at the Houston Museum of Natural Science.

Hmmm ... should the Whorehouse go for a celebrity product placement on Loho?

Retailers Cut 6,500 Jobs. Loho's fault.

2007-11-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

More economic bad news, Media Whores:

The Tea Room overheard that U.S. department and specialty stores have cut a combined 6,500 jobs just last month!

Could this be a direct effect of Paris, Loho, Nicole and Britney being too wasted to shop?

Tea Time!

2007-11-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Tea Biscuit to Andrew Christian for his great line.

The Tea Room Recaps National Underwear Day in August when models of both sexes walked out into Times Square, Manhattan, in nothing but their designer skivvies and sandals. They handed out samples and the Tea Room would like to thank Freshpair for creating this event. Photo of Tea Room favorite line Ginch Gonch.

Mochaliscious!

2007-11-05T10:04:00.000-08:00

According to DNR, Armani is planning an underwear push to rival Calvin Klein.

Viva la photographias!

And a great excuse for the Tea Room to post this Armani Exchange underwear model. Clint, is that you?

Best House Rag Closes

2007-11-05T09:57:00.000-08:00

WWD

Has the world gone completely mad? THIS IS A CONSPIRACY TO MAKE US READ ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST!!!

Conde Nast will announce today that it will close House and Garden with the December issue and shut down its Web site, houseandgarden.com.

“This has been a difficult decision to come to but we feel it is one that must be made at this time," said Conde Nast president and CEO Charles Townsend. "I would like to thank Dominique Browning and the entire staff for their award-winning efforts throughout the years.

“With the unexpected departure of the publisher of the magazine, we decided to take a serious look and reevaluate the title,” said Townsend. “Our investment in House & Garden throughout the years has been substantial and we no longer believe it is a viable business investment for the company.”

The Tea Room wonders out loud - didn't this title close before in the 90s?

Does Britney Smell?

2007-11-05T09:54:00.000-08:00

So-so response to new Britney Spears Frangrance caused Elizabeth Arden shares to fall.

Britney shouldn't feel so bad; the Mariah Carey fragrance was doing poorly too.

The decrease in popularity, the firm wrote, is "signaling that this family of celebrity fragrances, which we believe represents about 10% of total sales for Arden, may have peaked."

Translated - these crazy bitches need to be stopped!

p.s. THE TEA ROOM WOULD LOVE TO HELP BRITNEY OUT OF HER SLUMP... CALL US!!!!

Jumping On the China Bandwagon

2007-11-05T09:47:00.001-08:00

photo: Xavier Mateo

Overrated-But-We-Know-Her-Because-She's-a-Chinese-Fashion-Designer Vivienne Tam said that it was "high time the West recognized China's designers for their unique talent" despite the country's reputation for low-cost production.

Tam is part of 9707, a project to showcase Hong Kong as a global design hub and puts together 10 Hong Kong designers with global brands such as Alessi and Salvatore Ferragamo.

The Tea Room would happily recreate the Boston Tea Party with a shipment of Tam "designs."

Tam told Reuters: "I want to bring out China's history and culture in my work to the West"... shit, just what your work needed.... "Because to Western people's minds, in the past, China is seen for low-cost manufacturing, they're copycats and things like that" ..... and Western people's minds are wrong because....? "They don't consider China as a creative center, even Hong Kong, too. I think we have to break this rule. It's so rich in culture and in materials and resources. There's so much creative talent here".... Newsflash, Viv, China and Hong Kong are rich in one resource: Cheap labor! See Tea Room economic alerts to learn more.

Tam added, "I think Hong Kong has so much talent because it has to do with the East and West culture here, it brings so much energy and it will create a strong platform for China and other parts of Asia, too."

Finally, something Tam might be good at! If you can't design, try your hand at being an ambassador...

Stay A-head Of The Crowd

2007-11-05T09:39:00.000-08:00

T
Featured helmuts by MinSun Lee. Photos Eli Ceballos.

Attention Media Whores: The helmet-as-headware trend is dawning! If you don one of these bubbly creations while doing your morning rounds around town, prepare to be photographed.

In addition to the MinSun Lee creations above, you can take in The Moschino Helmets collection, a five-year licensing agreement with helmet manufacturer Max Safety Fashion. The collection will premiere at the 65th International Bicycle and Motorcycle Exhibition, next month in Milan. The unisex collection features three styles with graphic prints playing with the Moschino logo and Moschino's peace and heart symbol.

They will retail in February/March 2008.

Pig Face + Boob Job + Anorexia = Viable Media Whore

2007-11-05T09:36:00.000-08:00

Image: Askmen.com

So Victoria Beckham tells Ellen Degeneres she doesn't exercise.

"I don't [work out] because I can't get my head around what to wear at the gym. I don't do anything. I'm running around after three kids and they play soccer. They just . . . throw footballs at me and I just stand from left to right and that kind of keeps me fit."

Yet another reason to love her. Smack!

Fashion Label bebe goes all PETA on us!

2007-11-05T09:33:00.000-08:00

Fashion retailer bebe stores inc is to discontinue buying product with animal fur from January 2008. CEO Gregory Scott said bebe's "policy regarding fur has always been based on a strong belief in animal rights and the humane and ethical treatment of animals. Over the past year, bebe has gone to great lengths in working with its vendors to ensure that only fur created as a by-product could be used."

"Over this same period of time, we are proud to say that we have dramatically reduced the use of animal fur to less than 3% of our product offering and now look forward to completely eliminating animal fur from our orders beginning in January 2008."

Image from Peta.org.

If You're Having a Bad Whore Day...

2007-11-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

Charity Spotlight: Shoe4Africa

2007-11-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

From Samvoice:

It began with a simple act…
In 1995, professional runner, Toby Tanser was living and training in Africa. Though Toby was sponsored by a major sportswear company who provided him with state-of-the-art gear, he saw that many other serious runners in Kenya had no suitable shoes. Immediately, he began giving away his extra sneakers, and passing on his old pairs instead of throwing them out. When runners he'd given shoes to began breaking records and winning medals at important races, he realized that something as small as a single pair of shoes could completely change a person's life. It was then that Toby began reaching out and asking others to donate their own used shoes, and Shoe4Africa was born.

On November 5th, Shoe 4 Africa volunteers will be on Central Park West at 64th ST from 7 am to 2 pm accepting shoe donations from the public. Please bring as many pairs of used shoes as you can collect. Both adult and children’s athletic or leisure shoes are desperately needed.

More Naomi: Naomi Has Whore Reflections

2007-11-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

Photo:Webwombat.com/txt Page Six

Naomi Campbell at the 37th annual scholarship and awards dinner for the Black Retail Action Group:

"It's been a very interesting year. I've learned many lessons, like no more phones. In New York I'm the bad girl, I'm the good girl, I'm a controversial girl, and I've been through so much in this city. I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic, of which I'm not ashamed."

Media Whores are NEVER ashamed.

Dysfunctional Family Reunion

2007-11-05T09:22:00.000-08:00

Ya gotta love Stella McCartney for not being able to plaster on a smile like her photomates (who, incidentally, look like they are holding her in place lest she bolts from the room in a full-on rage).

And ya gotta love Stella's revenge against her wicked ex-stepmother!

The Tea Room has learned that Stella has designed a one-leg silver necklace for her jewelry collection that debuted in Paris for spring 2008. It's the remaining leg that Stella would like to rip off of Heather's body!

Even with the peg leg sympathy ploys, Heather could be one of the most unpopular Media Whores around. Even the Tea Room wouldn't touch this one with a 10-foot prosthetic.

India News

2007-11-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

The Fashion Design Council of India (FDCI) is planning an exclusive menswear fashion week. Dates have not yet been decided but FDCI director general Rathi Vinay Jha told The Economic Times that this is "to establish a menswear fashion industry in the country."

"Since there is a big potential market for men's designerwear, we wanted to do something which will promote the industry as a whole on the lines of women's designerwear," Nair said.

FDCI would collaborate with the Haywards Black International Men's Fashion Fair (HBIMFF), which takes place in Bangalore.

The council is also planning to start a separate India couture week for promoting the country's traditional wear.

Tyra's Media Whore Secret

2007-11-04T09:16:00.000-08:00

Not getting enough media coverage, Tyra? If you refuse to Up Your Slut Factor, there is one other way to guarantee that everyone will take your picture: Throw on spandex. Does anyone really believe that one of the world's top supermodels would show up for lunch at Nello's on Madison Avenue dressed like this? The New York Post gleefully printed this "oops" photo this week, "catching" Tyra in her fashion faux pas. A few more photos like this and the public will be fascinated by her fall from SuperModelWhoredom, settting up the stage for her SupremelySlutty Comeback.

Bravo, Tyra!

Diplomatic Immunity

2007-11-04T09:11:00.000-08:00

Naomi Campbell waves to photographers after meeting with Oil Whore/President Hugo Chavez.

The Tea Room thinks that Naomi's perfectly slutty ensemble will get her further than any Bush Administratioin official!

Speaking of Oil Whores ... The Tea Room Peeks Into The Pit

2007-10-31T16:11:00.000-07:00

AP Finance: A trader shouts for attention in the energy options pit, 29 October 2007, at the New York Mercantile Exchange. Oil prices hit a record 94.00 dollars Wednesday after news that US oil inventories fell sharply last week, analysts said.(AFP/File/Stan Honda)

Hey I.M. .... recognize this guy??

Up Your Slut Factor WINNERS of the Day

2007-10-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Halle Berry at the "Things We Lost In The Fire" premier in London

Hooray for Halle's Golden Globes! Yes, pregnant Media Whores.... the ONLY thing you have working for you during your nine months of expansion are your ta-tas. Take a page from Halle and Up Your Slut Factor until you're so huge you can't leave the house.
Heather Graham at the Heroes Environmental Awards in London

If ever an award could be given out to a Media Whore who translated on-screen costumes to real life dressing, Heather would win it. Does this not have "Boogie Nights" written all over it? The Tea Room loves!
Jessica Simpson at the Frederick's of Hollywood Spring Fashion Show

If you're happy and you know it shorten your skirt... If you're happy and you know it shorten your skirt.... If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it shorten your skirt.

Up Your Slut Factor LOSERS of the Day

2007-10-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

Renee Zellweger in NY

If you're nutty and you know it dress like this. Why does she look like she's got Turret's? This is a woman you want to put in a padded room in a straight jacket so we don't have to watch her twist her body in an attempt to be sexy. THIS IS NOT HOT.
Brooke Shields & Mandy Moore at a party for Huny Slonem's new book 'Pleasure Palaces'

The Tea Room is in a musical mood. The song for this photo would be: Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, babies, you give brunettes a bad name! You look more boring than 10 days of rain, you give brunettes a bad name!
Mira Sorvino at the Roberto Cavelli @ H&M launch party in Italy

No song, just three words Mira needs to hear: TAPE YOUR TITS

Gweneth takes Apple and Moses to the park in Spain

Back to music: It's raining, it's pouring, mommy feels so boring...went to bed with a hole in my head and put a hideous towel over it in the morning..

Was Ist Das?

2007-10-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

Or, as we say in the new country, what is this?? The Tea Room thinks that Paris is in some way trying to repent for her "sins," as if driving under the influence and having sex on tape warrants dressing like a Mexican housewife.

Come back Media Whore! When you make it back to Slutsville we will happily crown you Media Whore of the Week.

Media Whore of the Week

2007-10-23T17:23:00.000-07:00

The Tea Room Loves Kim Kardashian. Here she is celebrating her 27th Birthday in L.A.

Who better to illustrate Whore style? From her long, flowing hair (though a bit on the dark side, we love the nod to Cher & Elvira) to her large, busting-out-of-her-tacky-dress breasts, we give her an A++ for whoring her appearance to boost her stardom. Kim is a perfect example of the most important Media Whore principle: Up Your Slut Factor.

Remember You Are Always On Film

2007-10-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

And Now A Word From Our Down On Her Luck Media Whore Whitney Houston

2007-10-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

Do The (Red) Thing

2007-10-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

One Press Pimp we know is now obsessed with a new GAP advertisement featuring little Oscar Nominee darling Abigail Breslin with her Curious George doll, both in Product Red T-Shirts. Of course the same PP thought the GAP now has Curious George dolls but alas he found they do not.

More Cancer Awareness Products

2007-10-21T16:09:00.000-07:00

Breast Cancer "Hope" Tennis Balls by Wilson $5.50 at pinkribbonshop.com

Fashion Awareness Sugar Cookies. 19 sugar cookies in a gift box. 50% of the sale is donated to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. $75 at elenis.com

More Breast Cancer Awareness.

2007-10-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

This Limited Edition Viva La Cure tee, designed by Juicy Couture. All proceeds benefit the Entertainment Industry Foundation Women's Cancer Research Fund. $35 at saks.com

Mini Pink Pony Handbag $45 at ralphlauren.com

KitchenAid will donate $7 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation as part of its Cook for the Cure initiative. $49.99 at target.com

Dancing in Fountains

2007-10-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

From Harper's Bazaar:

"I don't think anybody thought Friends would become what it did. It's all good though. It's nothing but blessings. But seriously, who actually dances in a fountain?" JENNIFER ANISTON

Media Whores do.

Here she is showing off her ass on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

Lipstick = Mega Whoredom

2007-10-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

Mega model Media Whore Heidi Klum has launched her first line of make-up for Victoria's Secret.

Called the Heidi Klum Collection for Very Sexy Makeup, Heidi said she created the limited-edition collection so women can achieve her runway and red carpet looks, specifically in time for the Holiday season.

The Tea Room calls this Sex-For-Fantasy Marketing. If you use Heidi's makeup, you too can sashay down the runway in a bra with wings and marry a pop star!

Heidi worked with Media Whore favorite and Victoria's Secret make-up artist Linda Hay on the line.

Levi Strauss Opening 800 Stores In India by 2011

2007-10-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Is this a great ad or what!

Levi's leaders understand a primo Media Whore Principle; to keep its 100-year-old brand fresh, you have to flash some flesh!

News from India:

"Presently, we have around 160 stores and we will double the number every year for the next three to four years," Levi Strauss (India) marketing director Shyam Sukhramani told PTI at Lakme Fashion Week where it launched four collections, Collectibles, Blue, Vintage, and Red.

Levis currently has around 14 flagship stores in India and plans to add another 10 by next year, including one in Mumbai, opening in December.

Maybe its Christy.

2007-10-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

If the Tea Room hears anything to do with Christy Turlington, our interest is piqued!

Maybelline has signed German model Julia Stegner joining Christy Turlington, Erin Wasson, Adriana Lima, and Zhang Ziyi to their spokesmodel list. She will make her debut in February 2008. Maybe she was born with it?

Vintage Whore Frocks For Sale

2007-10-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

Nadia Swarovski with the Olsen twins. Photo by View Images.

WGSN.com

NADIA SWAROVSKI on trying to buy back archive pieces:

"I did try and buy that Marilyn Monroe Swarovski dress that she sang 'Happy Birthday Mr President' in, but when we went to Christie's it sold for £2m... a liiii-ttle out of my price range."

Another Rape Suit for Anand Jon

2007-10-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Anand Jon and Paula Abdul. Photo by Wireimage.

Ex-Whorehouse client Anand Jon Alexander was hit by another lawsuit by a woman who claims he sexually assaulted her three years ago at his Beverly Hills apartment.

Fashion model Natalie Pack, 29, said she decided to come forward to encourage others to do the same.

About 20 girls and women, aged 15 to 27, claim to have been assaulted by Anand between November 2002 and March 2007.

The 33-year-old designer was indicted this month on 59 counts, including rape, sexual battery and committing a lewd act on a child. He has pleaded not guilty and is scheduled to be arraigned October 25.

Red Carpet at Swarovski Fashion Rocks

2007-10-21T15:33:00.000-07:00

SWAROVSKI FASHION ROCKS

2007-10-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

London's Swarovski Fashion Rocks charity had Media Whore Kate Moss wore a 1920s beaded dress with 20,000 Swarovski crystals, a copy of what she wore on her first date with Johnny Depp in 1994 and to be auctioned on eBay tp benefit The Prince's Trust.

Sparkle and see through for our favorite MeHos! Uma Thurman wore an almost see-through black lace dress by Valentino, Claudia Schiffer in a sheer black blouse, Naomi Campbell in a sheer Dolce & Gabbana and Lily Allen in a sheer blue Chanel.

Karne sparkle is obviously in on the trend as Alicia Keys and Lady Helen Taylor both wore beaded Armani, and Whitney Houston put down her crack pipe for a white beaded Valentino.

Control Your Excitement

2007-10-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

Photo by Craig Blankethorn

Why does every on-set shot of the cast of "Sex in the City: The Movie" look like they are being led to a prison camp?

The Tea Room will refrain from making another crack about using Rachel Atwell for Shabby Chic fabric to construct Sarah Jessica's wardrobe for "Sex In the City: The Movie." But c'mon, what's going on here? Where are the Slutty ensembles we loved so much on HBO?

Kudos on the shoes, though. They look very much like the Henry Beguelin hot numbers that we scored (cha-ching!) in August for Spring Fashion Week...

Overheard in L.A.

2007-10-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

David Duchovny talking to Unknown Media Whore at the afterparty for "Things We Lost in the Fire" in L.A.

DAVID: "Paula, it's been so long!"

UKNOWN M.W.: "Why are you calling me Paula?"

DAVID: "Because that's your name. Though I have to tell ya honey, you're looking a little round in the middle."

UNKNOWN M.W.: "I'm pregnant, you idiot."

DAVID: "Oh, wow! Who's the lucky American Idol contestant who can now put 'daddy' on his resume?"

UKNOWN M.W.: "I don't know who he is, but unlike you, I would guarantee that he knows I'm Halle Berry."

DAVID: "You're cute. I was just fucking with you."

Through The Looking Glass

2007-10-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

Madonna & son David outside the Kaballah Center in NY.

Ah, if the founding fathers could only see where their vision would take us: A Famous-Catholic-Turned-Pseudo-Jew holding her African baby outside the headquarters of a benign religious cult.

And Lynne Cheney announced today that husband Dick and Barack Obama are cousins! No joke. Look it up if you don't believe us.

The Tea Room is feeling the love...

SLEEP WITH JETER, PARK FOR FREE

2007-10-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

Who says the season's over for this Yankee? The Tea Room is thrilled that he's been showing off his Media Whore talents in Miami this week!

check it out on Page Six:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/10162007/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm

Keep it Simple. Keep it Clean. Keep it Green.

2007-10-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

Attention Green Whores: Eco Citizen strives to offer high quality, fair trade, classic fashion design and construction to the eco-conscious consumer. Their mission is to support the planet and its people while encouraging and implementing fair trade practices, sweatshop-free merchandise, and organic fashion products. Eco Citizen promotes a lifestyle choice that goes beyond the traditional allure of fashion, by transcending the self through transparent business practices, while providing fashion-forward and classic clothing for the 21st century woman.

Hours: 11am-7p. Tuesday through Sunday
Closed Mondays

Photography: Collette McGruder
Art Direction/ Styling: Michael Carbaugh

Breast Cancer Awareness Month - Cancer Vixen: A True Story

2007-10-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Published by Alfred A. Knopf in September 2006, one of the Tea Room's favorite illustrators, Marisa Acocella Marchetto, has written and illustrated a must-buy book on her experiences with finding a lump in her breast days before her wedding.

The Whorehouse met Marisa when producing Cynthia Rowley's shows.

From Marisa's website www.marisaacocellamarchetto.com - “What happens when a shoe-crazy, lipstick-obsessed, wine-swilling, pasta-slurping, fashion-fanatic, single-forever, about-to-get-married big-city girl cartoonist with a fabulous life finds . . . a lump in her breast?”

The author is donating a percentage of the proceeds from the this book to provide breast care for underprivileged women at the Comprehensive Cancer Center affiliated with St. Vincent’s Hospital Manhattan and to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

In 1994, Marisa published "Just Who The Hell Is She, Anyway?"

Patrick McMullan's Glamour Girls

2007-10-15T08:50:00.001-07:00

"Glamour Girls" by one of the Tea Room's favorite photographers - Patrick McMullan

Arriving Fall 2007, GLAMOUR GIRLS by Patrick McMullan boasts one of the largest collections of photographs ever published of the world's most celebrated women. GLAMOUR GIRLS features over 1400 images and spans Patrick's career. The book chronicles everything from the sophisticated galas of society, to the flirty Hollywood parties, to the famed New York nightlife and everything in between.

$75 visit www.patrickmcmullan.com to order!

Spice Girls to Perform at Victoria's Secret Show

2007-10-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

The Tea Room fondly remembers when Victoria's Secret was known for its every-other-week-T&A-catalogs with has been models and commends them for their Whorish ways/Upping Their Slut Factor with superbreasts abounding!

Tea Room readers who missed out on tickets to the Spice Girls' reunion tour will be comforted to know that they can see group perform at the Victoria's Secret fashion show next month.

The Victoria's Secret fashion show on November 15 will mark the American TV debut of the Spice Girls' comeback tour.

Taking place at Hollywood's Kodak Theatre, the show will air on CBS.

Last year's performance for Victoria's Secret was given by Justin Timberlake.

Swarovski Fashion Rocks Line-up Announced

2007-10-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

The Tea Room has learned that the final line-up has been announced for Swarovski Fashion Rocks for The Prince's Trust, which sees several once-in-a-lifetime pairings between international designers and top music artists.

Hosted by Samuel L. Jackson and Uma Thurman at the Royal Albert Hall this Thursday.

Confirmed pairings include: Alicia Keys for Armani; Razorlight for Burberry; Joss Stone for Calvin Klein Collection; Lily Allen for Chanel; The Gossip for Christopher Kane; Timbaland for Dolce & Gabbana; Roisin Murphy for Gucci; Dame Shirley Bassey for Marchesa; Shy Child for Stella McCartney; the Pussycat Dolls' Nicole Scherzinger for Valentino; Iggy Pop for Versace; and Marc Almond for Yves Saint Laurent.

The event's executive producer Nick Scott calls the evening London's hot ticket for the year. "What a fantastic line-up and hosted by two of Hollywood's finest actors Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson renowned for their impeccable sense of style both on and off-screen."

Multi-award winning and triple platinum-selling Sugababes will also be pairing with a special guest in a surprise performance for Swarovski.

The Whorehouse produced the first New York Swarovski Fashion Rocks in September 2005. Sadly Iggy Pop was not available.

Seven Nights of Rock, Now Baby, Seven Nights of Roll: S.P.C.A. Event Shakes Up the Home Field

2007-10-14T04:56:00.000-07:00

You had to see it to believe: Michael Israel waving to guests after literally throwing paint at a canvas and voila... look what appeared in 6 minutes & was auctioned off for $35,000. There are some happy dogs in Jersey this morning!
step aside tall chick...

photos: D.W.

Guess who showed up to the Monmouth County S.P.C.A. party at Max Weinberg's (drummer for the E Street Band, Conan O'Brien) last night?

Though there was inside info. that B.S. would appear at the end of the nite, the pathetically jaded Tea Room thought FOR SURE that he would be spending the weekend in lockdown to rest up for a week of performances at MSG (which we will take in on Thursday night).

The Tea Room was thrilled to be wrong!

After a night of martini & tequila bars & yes, an ICE LUGE inscribed with the "Kick Up Your Paws" theme (Fat E would have been proud), the small crowd got bids rolling on incredible performace art by Michael Israel.

The night could have ended there, and everyone would have been happy.

But then HE came out. B.S. shook his ass with all the finesse and love of a true "attention whore," as he described himself on 60 Minutes last week ... and a very happy Press Pimp stood just feet away, camera in hand, to bring you the photos above; his version of 'Seven Nights of Rock' still echoing in her head...

Fresh Scent

2007-10-13T11:50:00.001-07:00

Elizabeth Hurley at a Breast Cancer Awareness Event in London

The top 1/2 of Tin Lizzy is A+ Up Your Slut Factor...
But roll down to the bottom 1/2 & it's like we're shooting a commercial for Glade Air Freshener. Media Whores remember: Just because your breasts are gifted does not mean they can carry the whole class. Everyone has to pull their own weight. Ass & crotch are just as important as hair & breasts!

Media Whore TUTORIAL: A Bad Day of Photos

2007-10-11T19:43:00.001-07:00

Madam Stone at a press conference in Monaco.

Huh??

Why the ascot??

Have you been neglecting your botox neck treatments?

The men's suit was hot 20 years ago but now it makes you look 20 years older than you are, and honey, you're no spring chicken.

TAKE IT OFF!

2007-10-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

Food Network's Giada De Laurentis in Mexico shooting "Giada's Weekend Getaways."

The Tea Room thinks Giada is adorable, but for Christ's sake, loose the gradma underwear!

We know the Median Viewer Age at the Food Network is 55 but covering up cute ass is Media Whore Sin Numero Uno.

You're Invited!

2007-10-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

Whorehouse's favorite downtown diva Susanne Bartsch is hosting her annual Halloween Bash.

HALLOWEEN WITCHES BORDELLO
Wed., Oct. 31
co hosted by KENNY KENNY

MUSIC: Johnny Dynell, Alexander Technique & SURPRISE DJ

Performance by Dangerous Muse

door: andrea and adam
10 pm $ 20 with invite
AVALON 20 ST & 6 AVE

SPONSORED BY XX DOS EQUIS

Food Bank for New York City Needs Your Help

2007-10-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

The Tea Room calls all super-citizen Media Whores for Food Bank for New York City.

Food Bank NYC provides New Yorkers with hundreds of thousands of free meals every day, coordinating and distributing food to more than 1,000 nonprofits throughout the five boroughs.

The facility normally stocks seven to eight million pounds of food, but cuts in federal funding has left the Bronx warehouse with just three million.

Food donations (from individuals or corporations), volunteers, community partners, and cash are all needed.

DailyCandy.com is organizing a virtual food drive or go to foodbanknyc.org

Crash Into Me

2007-10-09T21:39:00.000-07:00

photo: Hollywoodrag.com news: WGSN.com

The Tea Room loves how uber-ug Media Whore VICTORIA BECKHAM managed to crash the PRINCESS DIANA inquest, while modelling in a fashion shoot in Paris. That's original!

Posh is currently working on a magazine assignment for US Elle and has been spotted around the city, sporting a succession of rather fabulous Up Your Slut Factor ensembles. But according to The Sun, Vic managed to accidently walk through a makeshift courtroom set up outside the Ritz Hotel, where Diana and DODI AL FAYED stayed ten years ago. Stunned jurors could only look on, open-mouthed, as she breezed through the crowd.

"It was amazing. She was the last person you expected to see," said one witness. To be fair, it's not really her fault, she happens to also be staying at the Ritz, but then her whole life does reek of one big publicity stunt.

Isn't that what we're going for here?